Hi everyone! My daughter just turned 3 months old and was born at 35 weeks exactly after a partial placental abruption. Amazingly, she didn’t have to go to the NICU at all, but we have since been back to the hospital three times (first for bilirubin and the other two times for GI issues which seem to have been caused by a cow’s milk protein intolerance). She’s doing well and just weighed in at a little over 10 pounds.

We have yet to introduce her to anyone, and my husband’s parents are chomping at the bit. They fail to understand our concern for her health and the fear that resulted from the abruption and subsequent health issues. All they see is that they and my husband may first daughter haven’t yet met her and they “need the bonding time” despite the fact that our daughter won’t remember any of this and their one visit will not constitute much “bonding”.

We’re frustrated because they’re trying to control the situation, the situation which we are extremely uncomfortable with exacerbated by their nagging at attempts at controlling and making it seem like we’re being too overprotective.

So my question isn’t about whether you think it’s right or wrong that we’ve delayed them this long. My question is how do we deal with it so that we maintain control but also allow them to meet her? And how did you all feel when first introducing your little preemies to the world? Did you wait a long time?

Also let me say that my husband’s family is not healthy. They are sick very often, do not stay up to date on their vaccinations (namely TDAP) and would lie and say they aren’t sick just so they can see her.

Thanks in advance for any advice. And please don’t attack. We’ve already dealt with enough of that from family.