Laugh to keep from crying

Im tired of hurting , im tired of crying about the same stuff .... I'm tired of trying to force things that will NEVER BE, im tired of having hope for a hopeless situation, IM tired of feeling less of a woman, IM tired of being a childless wife, IM tired of the man that I'm with, IM tired of being lonely, IM tired of having sex with someone not knowing if they really love me for who am I , marriage is over rated (my opinion) , my husband ruined my perspective on marriage...am I tired !