i feel so conflicted inside, it was first time in life i was just to make decision without concrete plans i just knew i wanted you. i was surprised when “you” turned into “y’all”. i was thinking of all the things i’d do with the both of you like reading books before bed, making lunches, eating breakfast together every morning, simple things i wish my mom and dad did with me. i was so excited to get to know you, and see who you resembled the most. i was so scared and happy to be a mom; nervous that i couldn’t be everything, but i would try my absolute best. i was so in love with two ppl i didn’t even know yet i prayed every night that you’d develop healthy and we could be together. i bought prenatal pills thinking it would help somehow. but it didn’t and i’m so sad i feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest . i hope one day i can have a healthy pregnancy and have you come back to me and we can be together. my little babies