I really never thought I’d be here

I’ve been married almost 3 years. We got married young, I was 22 he was 24, we were college sweethearts and so in love. It was stupid. We didnt even know ourselves yet. I’ve grown up and he hasn’t.

We have a 9 month old son together, after going through IVF. After the whole struggle to have a baby with him, it’s even worse that this is where we’re ending up.

I love my son more than anything. I just want to do right by him. I want to be married to his dad and for him to have a happy home… but our home is not happy. My husband treats me so terribly and is just so lazy and immature and I just can’t take it anymore. I don’t think it’s right for my son to grow up watching his dad treat me this way, and watching us both be unhappy together.

We’ve been “separated” for about 6 weeks… like we had the talk, stopped wearing our wedding rings, etc. I’m spending most of my time at my mom’s house (she lives 2 miles away) but I’m still going back and forth and sleeping at our house sometimes just because it’s easier with our son to be in the same house sometimes, and because we renewed our lease already until June 2023.

My husband is also very mentally ill and it’s making matters worse. I also have depression, anxiety, and OCD but it’s pretty well managed. He has diagnosed ADHD and depression (always had ADHD, depression is new the last couple years) and probably other undiagnosed things too though. He is SO moody and unpredictable. 2 days ago he made a comment about how he wants another baby with me. Like… what? We were getting along pretty well that day, but we’ve discussed that we want to be amicable for our son’s sake so? And then he started wearing his wedding ring again??? Then the next day he starts picking a fight over nothing, then accuses me of fighting with him when all I said was to please leave me alone and that I didn’t want to fight, and he tells me to get out of the house. Then today he acts perfectly cheery and like nothing happened???

Idk, I don’t have a particular question but I guess I’m just looking for solidarity or anyone who has been in a similar situation of basically being gaslighted about a separation and/or divorcing with a young baby.