I still don’t feel right after meth use

TRIGGER WARNING: drug use

don’t even know where to start with this so I’ll start here. Leave your judgment at the door.

I’m really proud of myself because it has been 6 months that I’m sober. I try to talk myself down sometimes about how cool it is that I am completely sober from meth or any other drug.

I was strung out on meth for about 8 weeks last winter. I tell myself that since I wasn’t on it long term that it wasn’t that impressive since I stopped so soon. Then someone told me today, that the chance of recovering from meth is like 10%

There was a 90% chance I woulnt stop. BUT I FUCKING DID! And I’m cool af for that!

ANYWAYS.

THE POINT of the post lol

I still don’t feel right. It has been almost 6 and half months since I quit meth. I posted when I was going through detox, about how I was having horrific nightmares. Turns out that’s a normal part of detox. I was so worried that I had damaged myself for the rest of my life because when I stopped meth I felt like I was losing my damn mind for WEEKS, I felt freaking completely unhinged. It was the hardest thing I had ever been through but all of it just taught me how much I needed to keep going.

But my emotions, my mental… is still so messed up.

I still don’t feel like myself. At all. Something is wrong with my ability to feel emotions and process them normally and I’m trying to go on with life and act like I don’t notice a difference but I can’t ignore this. I feel so trapped with this.

I just want to know if I will ever feel like myself again?