I feel like I failed as a parent today. Jaxson has been getting more and more defiant as he gets closer to three. He is very strong willed, smart and manipulative. We've always done gentle parenting with him and I encourage him to be independent and have taught him manners - he doesn't get anything unless he says please, thank you, etc. We make him say sorry when he does something wrong. We've always done time outs and consequences (taking away TV if hes bad, making him come inside, not letting him have what he wants if he demands it). Make him pick up after himself, have him help with chores, etc.

But lately he's picked up the F word and says it all the time, at home and daycare. He wants to do everything himself, and I mean EVERYTHING and gets mad if he can't and throws a fit, hits, throws things, he threw his tooth brush in the toilet because I put the toothpaste on it. He's even started peeing on the floor when he gets mad.

Today when I picked him up at daycare they said he had a really rough day. The daycare teacher even said she had to walk away a few times she was so frustrated. He also told me he hit another kid in the head and had to go to timeout. His teacher suggested we contact a behavioral specialist. My jaw about hit the floor when she said that and my heart sank. Yes, he can be a lot and not listen. But I didn't think he was that bad. For the most part he's good at daycare and at home. But he has his days and moments.

My best friend also said if her daughter didn't listen like Jaxson doesn't listen he'd be in timeout 24/7. I just feel like a failure. Have I spoiled him? Been too easy on him? I feel like that saying if you give them too much attention and love you'll spoil them is coming true. Or do I just have a very strong willed little boy? I never in a million years thought I would need to call a behavioral specialist. I'm distraught.