Are little kids mean?

Question

I’m sorry if this sounds naive or ignorant. I am a first time mom to a young toddler. We went to the park and it was all older kids..probably 5 years old. They were all mean!! My little guy who can’t talk yet would innocently try and play with their ball or go up to them to socialize but they’d say things like “NO! This is MY ball!” And when my son went to several older kids they totally ignore him like he didn’t exist. Or when he was slowly going up the stairs because he’s learning they pushed him out of the way. I can’t help but feel bad!! I don’t want my son to get hurt so young for being social but I know that’s reality. Is this normal for that age? Will my son go through the whole no sharing and sort of mean phase?

Answer

Yes and no. toddlers push boundaries, that’s totally normal. Kids can be mean (and often are), but that’s where it falls on the parent to correct their behavior. My daughter is two and a half. When we go to the park, i make sure she stays on the playground meant for kids her age. I typically won’t let her play with older kids (5+) unless they invite her, because not all older kids want to play with someone so young, ya know? My daughter looooves younger kids, but she sometimes gets a little rough. That’s when I step in and correct it, and if the behavior doesn’t stop, we leave. I don’t and will never tolerate bullying and I won’t let her get away with it now because “kids are assholes”. If I notice my daughter playing with other toddlers that are being mean and their parents don’t correct the behavior, I lead my daughter to a different area to play.

Answer

Kids haven't learned social rules. And if no one teaches them, they won't. Sharing is taught. Not pushing other kids wanting to try something is also taught. But sometimes at playgrounds kids are left to themselves. That's okay to some degree, they can learn from that as well. It's a problem when no one ever teaches them how to act proper.

Answer

Well part of the issue is an epidemic level of parents not training their children.      Most kids go through phases of not sharing or being mean or just not paying attention to others but as parents it's our job to help them navigate those times and teach them the correct response.

Answer

Kids are assholes

Answer

This kind of behavior is normal yes. They’re not even really trying to be mean, they just are little and have big feelings and low patience and don’t want to share yet. They don’t have the ability to be empathetic until they’re a bit older. But that’s where parenting comes in, modeling social cues, setting boundaries and consequences, etc.

Answer

All this behavior needs to be corrected and taught by parents and sadly some parents just leave their kids unattended at parks etc 
Today I had this very instance my youngest who’s non verbal right now was trying to get from point a to point b on a play area structure this little kid about 6 years old was blocking his way and not allowing him to leave he would move any time my youngest would move 
I didn’t notice his parents around so I stepped in and advocated for my child I told the Kidd hey that’s not nice please let him get to where he wants to go 
He then told his parents and I talked to them and said you were no where to be found if you’re not watching your child misbehave and being a bully to a kid who’s younger and smaller than him you best believe I’m going to advocate for my child and not let him get bullied he was simply just walking to where he wanted to go and your child stepped in from of him and blocked him from going there

Answer

It depends on the kid. My son has always been the social butterfly, friendly, complimenting, polite and happy. As he had gotten older, he has started recognizing other kids’ mean” behavior. But when he was younger, he didn’t notice. However, I did redirect him from kids behaving that way, being too rough or much older/bigger in general. I always told him that we were going to play somewhere else or not play with anyone that was being “mean”. I wanted him to understand the difference in behavior and that mean behavior was not ok no matter what. So now he is in preschool, plays with kids at library storytime, goes to playgrounds. He has learned the difference in behavior and for the most part already avoids kids with the unwanted behaviors. I have noticed him sometimes being upset about another kid taking a toy away or not sharing when he knows he has to share. He gets frustrated but redirects by himself or scolds the the other kid for being rude or for not playing nicely. He shows that he understands but I don’t know that all 3 year olds do. 
So yes to answer your question, many kids, honestly I would say more are “mean” than not that we have encountered and also seem angry. I don’t know why this would be expect they are acting out and/or haven’t had the support from parents or caregivers to learn how to properly express themselves or perhaps that is the behavior they see modeled for them.

Answer

That stage is called “the toddlers creed” if it’s yours, It’s mine. If I saw it, it’s mine. If I played with it a week ago, it’s mine. If it’s mine, it’s mine. Everything is theirs and they don’t “want” to share it. But it’s easily correctable. Now with that being said if something truely is my daughters, I won’t make her share her toys when we go to the park if she doesn’t want to because it actually is hers and she doesn’t want to share it.

Answer

My son is almost 2.5 & all the kids who seem older like 5 love playing with him & even talk to him at the park & we go often

Answer

My experience is 90% of the kids at the playground are like this.. even most of the two year olds. My almost three year old has had a hard time because of this as she's been pushed multiple times by older kids. I notice parents are usually never around or not paying attention either so I always stay nearby and if I see some older kids running over I am ready to stop them. For example today my daughter was climbing up this wall going to a slide and two boys run over and were about to push her out of the way, no parents anywhere, so I put my arm between them and my daughter and said "Stop!" Then I told them it's her turn and they need to wait.. my daughter seems to be the only one that ever waits her turn and shares. Maybe she will change as she gets older, I don't know. I don't think the kids are inherently mean, they just haven't been taught how to be kind or share yet.

Are little kids mean?

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