I’m currently stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel like there’s no way to address my feelings without automatically being the ass.

Two days ago my Father In Law passed. Obviously my husband is grieving hard.

Here’s where my feelings come into play. Even before this happened I felt like I was not a priority to my husband, I’ve said this too. When his dad passed, he didn’t call and let me know (hospital restrictions plus me being pregnant made me unable to be there). I finally got ahold of him over 2 hours after and he had already called a handful of people, but I wasn’t one of them. Then he didn’t come home, his friend stayed with him, he said it was because he didn’t want our 2 year old seeing him like that, but our 2yo was in bed by 8pm. Last night he left without warning and took off with his friend until sometime after 2am. He texted and said it was messed up his support system didn’t get to say goodbye, but must have looked over the part that I didn’t get to say goodbye either. I’ve been with my husband 14 years and his dad has been a part of my life just as long.

I’ve been basically single handedly taking care of our kid since his dad went to the hospital. My mom offered to come help me, but my husband doesn’t want the company because she would have to stay with us. A family member could have watched him yesterday for a bit, but my husband said he missed him and wanted to spend time with him, so I declined. I’m stressed.

Like I said, I feel like me and my feelings are completely being overlooked and disregarded. I understand that his feelings supersede mine right now, but that fact that he’s making others a priority over me is hurtful on top of the hurt I already feel for loosing someone. I also feel rejected as he’s choosing other people for comfort without even considering me.

Idk what I want from posting this, maybe just to vent. I don’t feel like its something I can talk about as others likely feel my husband should get a “free pass” right now.