How do you know when you’re ready?

Question

I’m about to go to college and sure I’ve had my shares of make outs but not sex. How do you even know when you’re ready for that step and who should it be with?

Answer

Well the first thing that you should know is that it’s not gonna be anything like the movies, there’s not gonna be fireworks, it may not be intense and passionate, it may be two seconds or he goes soft or it won’t go in or bumping teeth, I could be a number of things so don’t equate porn and romantic movies as what’s going to happen your first time. It may be a complete disappointment, he may be too nervous, you may not be wet enough, and it may hurt, you may bleed, I personally would do it with somebody who you’re in a relationship with not a hook up or a one night stand or friends with benefits etc. but somebody you genuinely have feelings for because you will always remember your first time. I can definitely tell you about mine I was 20, it was in the backseat of my car, it was awkward, sweaty, uncomfortable, he was drenched in sweat dripping all over me it was disgusting, it didn’t last long, there was absolutely zero pleasure in it for me, because he had no clue what he was doing, because majority of women do not climax from penetration alone they climax from clitoral stimulation, or they think jamming their fingers inside of you and either irritating things, scratching you, is going to do it, and a lot of times it doesn’t because most women do not climax from penetration, they seen it in a porno and think it’ll work for you, on the contrary what they should be asking you is what works for you but if you don’t know what works for you by figuring it out on your own, How on earth can you tell him what works for you. Like I said most women clitoral stimulation is what works for them. If I could take back every sex part I’ve had prior to my current partner, I absolutely would, none of them were worth it, they didn’t give a damn about my own climax, they basically rolled over and left and pumping dump and left. Or they would say things like well it’s not gonna suck itself, and we’re complete assholes so basically I would wait for somebody who is worth it. My current partner is the only partner I’ve ever been with who makes the effort, that man could go down on me for hours, he worries about my climax as much as he worries about his own, that man goes above and beyond in every way, I’ve known him 20 years prior to us getting together two years ago, he’s an amazing lover, he’s the only man who can keep up with me because I have a very high sex drive, and so does he, I am 43 years old, and trust me if I could take back every single man I was with because they were all cheaters, or abusive, on top of that the sex was sucked, the only one who got off with them, trust me I would wait for somebody was worth it, and on the meantime clitoral stimulation will be your best friend, figure out what works for you, at least when you masturbate at least you’re guaranteed a climax when you figure out what works for you meanwhile majority of women if they haven’t figured it out or their partner hasn’t figured it out they’re probably disappointed. I’m just keeping it real with you. I remember every partner of ever been with, none of them are worth it I can tell you in great detail how my first time went. You will always remember your first time, hopefully it’s with somebody who deserves it and knows what they’re doing. Otherwise flip-flopping down there and clueless and the one soft or lasting two minutes etc. is not worth it. Or micro penises, another one not worth it it’s one thing to have a micropenis and at least use your fingers or use your mouth or compensate it’s another just to be a two pump chump and waste your time. Life is too short for crappy sex, eventually you’ll get to that. You spend your 20s sucking it up and taking one for the team because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or their ego, by the 30s you figure out what you actually want in life, and by your 40s you just don’t give a damn about flattering their ego when you keep it real. You tell them what you want, you tell them what works, that’s basically how dating works in your 20s 30s and 40s. Good luck

Answer

You will just know. I was just shy of 17 when i lost mine and i was terrified, i knew i wasn’t ready but I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and was convinced if i didn’t give him sex like he wanted, he would cheat on me (spoiler alert, he cheated on me anyways. I now have a restraining order against this man…i wish i understood red flags back then, i was too naive) so i was very much forced/manipulated into it. Is there is a reason you want to lose it so badly? If I’ve learned anything about sex, it’s not as great as it’s cracked up to be unless you truly love and are comfortable with the person.

Answer

To start off are you wanting to save it for someone special that you love and trust? Or are you ready to experience it with someone you may not know so well? How would that effect you mentally in the long term? 
Lower all and any expectations of what you’ve been told about what sex feels like. Your first time is more than likely going to be awkward and uncomfortable. And likely not what you you were wanting/expecting. Especially if the other is a virgin as well. If you’re hooking up with someone with more experience I would communicate that this is your first time so that way they can better communicate with you about positions etc. It may also calm your nerves as well. 
Lastly I would listen to some podcast about sex and what to expect. There are plenty out there and I wish I would’ve known of those resources when I lost mine! 
I lost mine with my ex in highschool. Both virgins. We both didn’t know what we were doing whatsoever!
Once you’ve had it and if you decide to engage in it more you will grow a lot more comfortable with it and better learn yourself and your body. It’s just a process. No one is amazing at it right off the bat and don’t put too much pressure on yourself! 
Looking back my partner and I wished we could have been each other’s first. But we don’t ever dwell on it. And if anything I’m super happy that he never saw how awkward and insecure I was back then 😂

Answer

When I was 17, I knew I wasn’t ready for it yet, it was just an inner feeling. Then when I was 19, I met my very first love, pretty much after a week of being together, it felt right and it felt right with him. 
Don’t over analyze it, you will know when it’s the time, and when it’s the right person to do it with :)

How do you know when you’re ready?

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