Sex punishment..?

Question

Help I’m curious! So my boyfriend will often say small things to me that make me feel insecurities and I was expressing this to my counselor and he mentioned something called sex punishment, have you guys ever heard of this? A little back story about 3 years ago I had a baby and 4 months after birth things were rough between my bf & I. He had a job making good money and was never really around bc of all the fighting ( I included the money thing bc before he got the job we struggled and he never really had extra to do much and was always home) we ended up splitting for just a few days and I called him back (emotional had a new baby and wanted my family to work) when he came back after we had sex I went for a checkup and my dr told me I had chlamydia and it really affected me. In a sense I felt betrayed like damn it was only a few days of us being away from each-other and I have an std within a week of him being back. So I decided to try my best to put it past us and work on things. Everything was fine but I found myself a little nervous to have sex with him bc I was scared of catching something ( what if I got something incurable) when I told him about the std he downplayed it and make it seem like it was no big deal. He kept saying it happens when “juices” mix together.. 🤔 I’m confused bc I’d never had anything like that before. So he expects I have sex with him whenever he wants it and that is sometimes multiple times a day and I feel like I can’t keep up. So when we argue he says things like he’s not satisfied sexually, I’m boring in bed sometimes, one time I remember him saying there’s plenty of girls out there with way more energy who can perform, he tells me I take no pride in my sex game & other weird remarks that cause me a lot of insecurities & I feel like I’m always questioning am I doing this right, did I have sex with him enough this week, is he satisfied etc. he says it’s my job and my duties to keep him satisfied & tells me it makes no sense bc I ask if he’s gonna cheat on me and things. He’s like if your so worried about other girls and me cheating why don’t you try to be the best version of yourself & keep me satisfied? And I dunno this probably sounds so dumb but it makes me uncomfortable. My counselor mentioned something about sex punishment and said it sounds like that’s what he’s doing, any insight would be nice bc this issue has been weighing on me alot.

Answer

He is trash. Let other girls have him if they want 🤮
Please know you're worth so much more and leave this dude immediately. He is so toxic I cannot even............

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You need to end this relationship. You deserve better.

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I know it’s much easier to spectate from the outside, because you have children with him, and obviously you love him, but he has zero respect for you, and does not reciprocate that same love you have for him. 
A man who loves you, will not “punish” you for not “keeping up”; literally every person is different in that area, and to keep bringing up that it’s “your job”, that you’re “boring in bed”, and that there are “other girls who can keep up”, are all derogative statements in order to belittle and degrade you. Someone who loves you, would never say those kinds of things or make you feel pressured to “perform” a certain way. 
He sounds like he’s more than happy to cheat, or already does, and is self projecting his negativity onto you in specific for his own actions. 
He’s not worth your time, not worth your tears, and you’re SO much better than what he’s presenting to you. 
Know your worth, and walk away. 💖

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You’re worth more than that.

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Why are your standards so low?

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I am currently pregnant and sometimes I worry that my boyfriend and I aren’t what’s best for each other. I will try to put it out of my mind tho because we’re having a baby and it’d be so much easier if we just lived together and are together and all of it, so I entirely understand why you want this to work. 
However, you are looking at this relationship from a very close angle. From where I am, it’s incredibly unhealthy for you, though. 
Ask your therapist if they think your boyfriend is good for you mentally. Or if they think your boyfriend will help you achieve healthy habits. If so, how would your therapist suggest you navigate these conversations that your boyfriend and you have?