This is long and probably not a big deal but it keeps coming up and I’d really like some advice!

Last year, my sister married her high school sweetheart (she’s 32 now, they broke up for a long time but are obviously back together now). Our parents and his parents were very close when they dated in high school, so when they got back together and got married, naturally the parents all became good friends again.

The issue is that now, my parents invite his parents to a lot of our family events (even small bbqs and stuff). They’re ALWAYS there. So these people would be my sister’s in-laws. My sister is pregnant with her first and my mom has vented to me about how much she hates my sister’s MIL. It’s awkward for me then to see them acting like best friends at these events. But even worse is that these in laws, that aren’t even my in laws, talk SO much. It’s unbelievable how much they can talk. And my husband gets really overwhelmed and annoyed because the reason him and I go see my parents is to talk to my own parents, and my sister and BIL. English is his second language so he’s already a little shy with speaking up, but it also just feels like we’re sitting in on someone else’s family gatherings.

So this is my question- my mom often invites my husband and I to her house for holidays, bdays, etc. And I always accept the invitation because I want to see my family! But then a few days before the gathering, or even sometimes when we get there, she tells us that my sisters in laws are going or are already there. It’s fine that they continue to invite them, I’m happy for my sister and BIL that they get to have their whole family together. And I can even tolerate it. But my husband just absolutely hates it and I don’t want to put him through it anymore. So for fathers day, my mom is having a bbq and just today told me that my sisters in laws will be there. I told my husband that he does not have to go with me. Since I already accepted the invite I don’t want to cancel for me, I honestly would still like to go and see my dad, but I know my husband will be happy to have his own parents over at our house or do something by himself.

So I’m wondering if when I tell my mom that my husband isn’t going, should I tell her it’s because of my sister’s in laws? Or would that create unnecessary family drama? The other option is just to tell her he’s busy with work or his own family.