To move or not to move?! (With kids)

Question

I’m so stressed! 
So my husband is being offered a job in a different state. We currently live in Texas, and the new job is in Colorado. It is a 50,000 pay increase (possible 60,000), but I’m so nervous to move away from my family. 
My husband is from Italy, and my family and I are from PA. We don’t love the area of TX we live in, and find Houston to be basically a concrete city with not much nature or simplicity to offer. It’s been a tough transition here. We always knew we never wanted to stay here long term. BUT my family is here and now that I have two little ones, I’m so scared to move away from them and have no help. I will also miss them very much.
On the other hand, this job offers more money and is located in a beautiful, less populated location. I could really see us raising our kids there and enjoying life. Plus, more income is always great. 
I am just worried about moving away and having no help or family close by for my kids to grow up with. 
I know no one can make this decision for us, but I’d like some input from those who are not biased! And maybe from those who did move away from their family while raising their children?

Answer

Write a pros and cons list. No one can tell you what you need.
One thing I'd take into SERIOUS consideration is the loss of a support network. If you family gives you time to yourself without your kids that will be a VERY big adjustment. Youll go from not having the kids every so often to always having them, unless you hire a babysitter(not for me I do not trust people in the slightest).

Answer

You can thrive where ever you choose to, really. We moved away from family and have adapted just fine. Its totally do-able!

Answer

Colorado is beautiful. I don’t live there only visited and it’s one of the only states I would willingly move to. I’m a beach person so I’d prefer never to leave the west coast haha but I’d think about how much your family helps, will it significantly impact you not to have that support system? My family lives in the same state as me but 2 hours away so it’s just long enough to where they can’t regularly babysit and it’s usually planned visits for a weekend, etc. and not a day trip. So I’d be ok moving out of state for that much of a pay increase and to a beautiful state like CO.

Answer

I am in the same situation I decided to follow my husband. He's from Florida and I am from Virginia I hate Florida with a passion

Answer

Move

Answer

Honestly, it’s possible. I have five children and only had one when I moved away from family. I currently live in CO and it is a great place to raise a family. You can make friends that will become family and/or use care.com for sitters. My husband and I have made it work for more than 13 years not having family close by. Like one other person put, be ready to not have as much time alone without kids, but I love my kids so I don’t mind not being away from them very often. My husband and I have found great nannies out here but you just gotta look. Message me if you want more info.

Answer

Move!!!!! 
You’ll regret it deeply if you do not. 
It feels uncomfortable and you’re nervous because change is SCARY!! But that does not mean that it’s bad!!! 
You can always go visit your family! Especially with the pay increase 😉 
I grew up in WI, I was 21. My lease was ending in my apartment, I was making 38k salary with a promotion to 41k coming. Some upper management co-workers of mine were from IL. All of my family was here, my support, my free daycare. I was a single mom of a 1.5 year old. 
I moved!!!! All alone!!! It was the best thing I could’ve done. 
I cried a lot. Every day. I was heartbroken. I knew I was going to miss my family, my friends, my co-workers. But I also knew I did not want my future to be here. My family told me I’d hate it and regret it. 
I’ve lived here a year & I absolutely love it here. Better town, more jobs, bigger city, better weather, better OPPORTUNITIES!!! I went from a racist state to a welcoming one. 
It was hard, I was scared, I did not want to leave my comfort zone. All alone. But I did & it’s the best thing I’ve done. I visited here before I moved to check it out, maybe you should do the same!!!

Answer

My husband and moved 12hrs away from family to help further his career. Ngl. It kinda stunk not having help to watch the kids around. And having to travel so far if we ever wanted to visit for holidays. Ultimately we decided we wanted our kids to grow up with family around them and moved back. BUT my husband also wasn’t making 50-60k above his current salary. If he was that definitely would have been a factor that maybe would have kept us there. I would sit down an make a pros and cons list. With an extra 50-60k will you be able to afford to travel home when you wan to? Or pay for good child care/babysitter? Just things to consider.

Answer

Sweetie it's your husband you can't just let him go alone. This is the man you married and said till death do you part. Do you really want to live away from him and also one thing I think about is my children are going to grow up and leave me even though I left my husband for them. Think nicely about it before you make a rush decision 🙏💜

Answer

It all comes down to pros and cons of the move and what you guys value to have in your life.
It's very much possible to be fine far away from family, but I value family time very, very high in my life and I know I would suffer if we moved that far away from family while having small kids. I would be open to discuss it if they were older. But that's down to my priorities.

To move or not to move?! (With kids)

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