My ex would cheat on me relentlessly so I ended up leaving. I did stay a few times though because I was stupid. Well, I’m glad I did and I did it for a reason. I knew that if I left him right then I’d go right back so I kinda just built the strength to leave a stay gone.

I had a conversation with his ex and childs mother (he did not cheat with her and I fully 100% believe that. Just because they fully and wholeheartedly hate each other) she just happened to walk in and be a part of the conversation bc she was dropping child off and her and I were actually good friends. She took me to get slushees and to get me away from him so I didn’t kill him. She told me he cheated on her the entire time too. and I was venting to her asking her “why does he beg on his hands and knees for me, but he still keeps cheating? And why doesn’t he just let me go and stay single so he can do what he wants? What am I to him, a pet?”

She told me “at least you’re winning over these bitches. You’re the one up in his home, daily life, up in his bed. These other girls don’t have that. Every man cheats, but you’re winning because you are the one he wants at home.”

I asked “is that how you viewed it when he cheated on you?” And she said “yep.”

I told her “that’s the reason you fucking hate your baby daddy. Because you put up with this shit for years. That’s BS, not every man cheats. I have a standard when I agree to a monogamous relationship and if you can’t follow the most basic rule of a monogamous relationship then you don’t need to be in one. Just accepting that he cheats as he has me at home playing wife and convincing myself that I’m special for being the only one he wants to keep close as he sticks his dick in everything sounds like the most miserable existence I can think of.”

And she didn’t say anything. We were in the car and she just stared out of the window. I don’t think she agreed so she just let it go and we changed subjects and hung out so I could calm down.

But seriously what is that? Being a serial cheater and begging for me back, literally crying on his hands and knees.

Why am I the one who gets to be tortured. Why can’t you do this to one of these other girls. Why me?

Btw I left 4 months ago I’m good. I still wonder about this shit though.