anyone else struggling? 💔

Question

my baby is almost 6 weeks old and i feel like my partner is just a part time parent. he's back to work (2-10pm) which i understand but he is no help. no help during the night and after work, i feel like he'd rather relax than spend time with our daughter or even me for that matter. he doesn't wanna feed her & i feel like he only holds her for maybe a half hour. if i say something, i get told that he needs time to relax after work. it really sucks because in the hospital and first few days home, he was incredible. now i feel like i'm non-existent and our daughter isn't important. it breaks my heart. this little girl is my whole world, and it's a full time job taking care of her, breastfeeding and pumping. i don't complain, i'm happy and so blessed to be her mama. it just hurts me that she isn't a priority to him and i feel like i disappeared from his importance too. sorry, i'm just venting, i feel so alone. 💔

Answer

It seems like a common struggle. I often feel like a single parent and like I need to ask permission for some free time like to shower or get my hair cut (still haven’t gone) while he just pops in and out as he wishes. He’s self employed so it seems work mainly calls when she is needing something. We both wanted a child so it surprises me.

Answer

It’s the same way for us. This baby is our second and he was the same way with our first baby for a long time. I think dads don’t really know what to do or how to bond at this age. Once they start crawling they get more fun so dad gets more involved.

Answer

I have a similar issue with my partner. He was so great at first, I’m now 3 weeks PP and because I am starting to recover he is less interested in helping with her. His work is flexible so he is home a lot but if I ask him to do something or make a comment that he only does something if I ask him to, he says “I could just be at work instead, then I wouldn’t even be here”. I know it can be frustrating but I also have this notion that once our daughter is a bit more responsive to what’s going on around her that he will be more involved. I try and remind myself that he didn’t bond with her for 9 months like I did and it will take some time for him to grow that bond. I’m sorry you’re going through something similar! I hope hearing this helps you feel less alone 💕

Answer

Dads typically don’t get involved until later on when babies start interacting with them and are not as demanding (wanting only Mom). They often times don’t have that instinct and are afraid to do something wrong, and I think they are not as patient so when baby starts crying they feel helpless.
I once heard my husband say it to a friend “I just let Mom do her thing for the first few months”. That’s when I realized why he wasn’t helping so much with our first two boys. 
Hang in there! time flys bye and they will be bonding sooner than later!

Answer

He may be struggling with the new normal or he may have some other things going on with work etc. My husband was also great when our son was born but I noticed him withdrawing a couple of weeks ago. He had some things bothering him and his anxiety had gotten worse and the baby triggered him. Maybe have a chat with him and see how he is feeling? I know it’s frustrating feeling like it is all on you 🙂

Answer

I think it takes Dad's some time to bond with the baby, especially in the newborn stage. My hubby was the same way with our son who is now almost 4 and these two are now inseparable. They have the best bond and they do everything together and go everywhere together. It's actually been really special to see their relationship grow and flourish. We are expecting our second in December and I do think this time around he'll be a little more involved with the baby since he has experience and knows what he's doing now. It took him time to get confident in his parenting but now he's a pro. I say, give it time. I promise as the months go on, baby and Daddy will grow closer.

anyone else struggling? 💔

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