(I'm a nurse with vaginismus) Someone posted asking if vaginismus was a mental disorder and wanted to share my obsessive wealth of knowledge I've learned from being diagnosed and searching for a cure..

This disorder disrupts our lives in every way and isolates us.. that alone is enough to seek therapy.

But for those who have been raped, almost raped, sexual abused, scared of being abused, sexually harassed, terrified of being pregnant, a traumatic pregnancy, a spontaneous or elected abortion, raised to believe sex is bad, ungodly, or the path to damnation (strict religious or parenting) or insert your trigger... the beliefs, pain, and fear can all trigger your vaginismus as a protective measure (it's called guarding).

It made no sense to me.. until I went to therapy finally to talk to someone and the therapist brought up PTSD. As a nurse.. I read anything and everything on the subject (mostly to deny I have it😅) but that is why I learned about guarding and I am grateful for that. Your body protects itself like armour if it senses any kind of threat and wants to protect itself.

Abdominal guarding is more known for penetrating wounds like a knife to try and create a thick barrier of tense muscles to prevent as much damage as possible, but its also found a lot in apendicitis or pancreatitis when an injured and sore organ sees a threat or fears being irritated(accidentally hitting your stomach on a table or during the doctors exam) you clench up.. (think about it, anything scary your body gets tensed up and braces itself [scary movies, when your nervous, car accidents] AHA MOMENT! )

Now apply it to your vaginismus when it clenches:

Anytime there is an associated fear of sex, going on dates, watching romantic movies, being in an elevator with a man/woman by myself, getting your period, going to church, thinking of the event, going to a papsmear, liking someone, trying to have sex, getting turned on, the date of an anniversary... etc.

They all switch on your guarding to protect yourself because your body continues to associate whatever is happening to you to the traumatic experience and thinks it's helping you, but ends up causing pain instead. It specifically does it to prevent penetration which is why we suffer even with tampons.

Guarding is a symptom of sympathetic overload.. it means your body activated it's stress response, but never felt it ever got safe and continued to protect itself by staying in stress response (fight, flight, and fawn).

There is proof women get over vaginismus just by getting their stress response back to resting like it's meant to without doing anything else, but some women need adjunct therapies to fully be able to be free of vaginismus (dialators, talk thereapy/CBT, myofascial release, desensitization therapy, etc. Etc.).

There is more medical articles on abdominal guarding, muscle guarding, stress responses than vaginismus itself.

Knowing it was a trauma/fear response helped me with the approach I took. Since learning, I no longer fight myself about not relaxing or force myself to insert a dialator with anxiety, anger, etc.. and focused on a relaxing approach with a stress free environment. When I took out I have to orgasm, or I have to get it in.. approach I was able to go farther than I ever have and still do.

Your adjuncts don't have to be penetrating or sexual.. they could be meditating, a relaxing bath with candles and a fancy bath bomb (that makes your skin feel soo smooth), clothed abdominal massage/myofascial release, massaging your thigh, hips, butt (and the area you would "sew" your legs together or on the edge of your bones[I released so much tension/ knots there), a sensual shower..make things fun, not a chore or forced.. dancing helps relax you, get a massage before you have sex...

You got this! We got this! It's not a permanent disorder! It's very much reversible!