Disciplining a 3 year old? HOW?

Question

Please someone give me advice on how to discipline a 3 year old. Or do you just let them do what they want?? Lol. My little toddler is super smart and her vocabulary is advanced for her age so she knows how to reason with me and have conversations. It makes it even harder to put her in her “place”. I will ask her to do something and she straight up says, no! She will test me and her dad. We ask her to stop, she won’t. We have tried time out(the correct way), toy removal, and not letting her watch her favorite show. And when she gets frustrated, she does not budge! It’s like she gets tougher and even more stubborn. She is the sweetest thing. She is not mean and does not have any behavioral problems. I’m just finding it a little difficult to handle the times when she does not want to listen and/or has meltdowns and temper tantrums. Help!
*she will be 3 in August 2022

Answer

With my 3yo, I give him choices. One choice is the thing I want him to do, and the other is something he doesn't want. Then I ask him what he wants to do; i.e. you can put your shoes away and pick out a book to read, or I'll tidy your shoes and I get to pick a book. Which would you like?
I've also used 'try again' for many things, like if he's taken a tou from his sister without asking I tell him to try again and then he has to give it back and ask nicely. He's slowly getting into better habits, but these toddlers are a whirlwind I tell ya.

Answer

Ok so at 3 they are learning so much but get frustrated bc they can't explain their needs or wants. They also test you a lot at this age to see if you'll bend. Stay consistent even when it's hard. It won't last long. When she does something bad, instead of immediately punishing her, talk to her. Tell her why she's in trouble and why you're taking this away or doing time out. They are still learning so even when getting in trouble, they need to be reminded why they are in trouble. I have a 3 year old son. For the most part he's really good and very smart. He out smarts me sometimes lol. This is a critical age between still be a baby and being a young child. Consistency is most important here. My son learns at least something new everyday and he's absorbing so much information he gets frustrated sometimes and will cry over little stuff. I always give him a "warning" before putting him in time out bc he does need to be reminded but he also deserves to be asked not to do something and why before I immediately go to time out. If it's something he will do all day, the next day I talk to him about it and tell him today you can't do that or you'll go to time out the first time. I think this is my best strategy bc he really don't do it and if he does it will be just once. If it's something your daughter is doing daily. I'd try this and see how it works. If she cries when she gets in trouble or throws a tantrum, let her and when she calms down talk to her about why she can't do it and if she does it again she will get time out or whatever you're doing. In my honest opinion time out is best bc they really don't like that. Taking something away isn't a big deal bc they can still play or watch something else lol. Whatever you're doing as punishment though, keep it the same for when she acts out so she's understanding more of what's going on. Give her ways to correct herself as well. Like my toddler, shew. He don't like using his little potty so he'll pee or poop on himself. Instead of punishing him for that, I give the option of using his little potty or the big one. He likes the big one for some reason lol. He's bad about taking toys from his brothers simply bc they have it. Instead of punishing him for that I tell him "we don't take toys from someone else, when they're done with it you can play with it. Take turns. Do you want to play with 'blank' until they get done?" Seems to work better than time out. They understand way more than you think, they just have a hard time expressing how they feel or finding the words they need.

Answer

Just remember you are the boss, not her. Don’t let a tiny person run your lives that’s ridiculous. Put your foot down and take things away she wants. Positive reinforcement as well. It only gets worse when they’re older if they think they run things!

Answer

3 was tough! At 3 I had to majorly pick my battles and consider all the circumstances. I put my foot down and used discipline when I had to, but let’s say it was bedtime and she was fighting it when I knew she was tired - instead of digging my heels in (which would usually cause her to dig her heels in and go to battle) I would ask her to race me to the room. Or I ask her super sweetly “can I carry you to the room?! Mommy realllllly wants to snuggle you!” And put out my arms and just love on her instead of getting into the power struggle. She usually responded really well to those things and it gave her choices to make and have ownership over. Tried to make things fun and distract when I could and went and I battle when needed. The big thing is to always stay consistent!!! They need to know their boundaries and then when they see you’re going to stay consistent it will help them not to feel like they need to test you so much.

Disciplining a 3 year old? HOW?

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