Mum in desperate need of advice

Hi all. Does anyone have ideas on how to stop sibling fight amongst young children? My children are 1yr old and 4yr old and they’ve turned me to referee in this house. I am constantly stopping fights. One minute they are playing, next minute they’re fighting over things like toys. I don’t know how to handle it without it appearing like I’m blaming one child or taking sides. Usually their fight would start with the younger one wanting to take a toy that the older one is playing with and the older one will refuse to share.

Sadly, the fight always starts with the older sibling. Older sibling would do things like refuse to share toys, take younger siblings toys, etc. I can’t count the number of times that older sibling has pushed younger sibling that it resulted to an injury.

Older sibling says things like “I don’t want a brother”, “go back to where babies come from”.

I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want older sibling to ever feel less loved by my cautioning older sibling. I wouldn’t say it’s jealousy because I ensure that I treat them equal and I make so much time for older sibling. People even say that I am ‘over pampering’ older sibling… that’s how much I am intentional about both siblings feeling loved always.

I don’t know what to do 😭😭😭 Does motherhood ever get any easier?