Im confused

So im a first time mom. Id always wanted to have my own little family but not exactly this way. The beginning of this year i had a miscarriage and was suffering with depression amongst other things.

Due to some personal reasons i have problems with drinking around anyone. Well 2 very close “friends” of mine invited me to drink and since i felt comfortable with and trusted them i agreed. I had a bit too much to drink (started thinking about things i didnt want to) and ended up very close to black out drunk. Instead of taking me home, my “friend” dropped me off at a guys place. A guy who i cut contact with because he was starting to make me uncomfortable. And left me with him.

Now im finding out im 9 weeks pregnant and he wants nothing to do with me or the baby. He’s claiming he cant have kids and its not his.

Everyone around me that is family, seems so excited but as more time passes the more scared i get and the more im starting to slowly hate myself and the baby. I dont know what to do.