I feel so disgusted with myself I blacked out

So my fiancé and I went over to a new neighbors house this past Sunday to have dinner. We usually never drink or go out on Sundays because our jobs really require us to focus on Mondays. However, it was our first time meeting our new neighbors since we purchased our home & we got carried away by the fun that we were having. The neighbor smokes weed and offered us some, but I didn’t have any because I really can’t handle it… my fiancé and the neighbor smoked SOO MUCH that their whole house was super foggy… my fiancé used to smoke weed in college but hadn’t in a long time….

Anyway, after a while of hanging out I invited my best friend over & my fiancé invited his best friend… & we ended up back at our house. At this point we continued to drink tequila after we had vodka at the neighbors & my fiancé ended up going upstairs to bed…

My best friend, his best friend & I stayed up. My best friend and I decided to go outside and jump into the pool and this is the last thing both of us remember.

I woke up in the morning next to my fiancé in our bedroom, my best friend let’s call her “N” was in the guest room & his best friend let’s call him “D” was gone. D doesn’t really drink btw. All N & I remember is asking him to take a shot with us and he refused, which he typically does…. So we didn’t think anything of it…

Anyway fast forward to the next day, D texted me asking how we were feeling I told him like crap and that I was dying at work, we continued to text a bit & I mentioned that N and I didn’t remember anything after jumping into the pool..

I ended up leaving him on read after that for the rest of the day & he texted me again the next day. Btw it’s not unusual for us to text. He has a wife who I recently started hanging out with and really appreciate and respect… they have been together forever & have a daughter together.

So the next day he texted me saying that he wishes he would have done all kinds of sexual things to me but didn’t want to wake up N or my fiancé. Implying that something happened between us… I definitely didn’t reply instantly started bawling and asked my best friend if she remembers anything including me being alone with him… we have a doggy camera in the living room and I didn’t see anything strange… however the bedrooms are upstairs…

But I haven’t texted him back I genuinely don’t remember a single thing. I’ve showered like a million times, I feel disgusted and uncomfortable & I just don’t know what to do. I tell my fiancé everything… everything everything but I’m so scared that he’s going to think that I made the decision to do something even though I swear on my life that I don’t remember even sitting next to that man….

I’m scared that my fiancé will leave me if I tell him… & I feel like human trash because I genuinely adore his wife & I’ve never even thought about doing this at all… I don’t find him attractive or anything at all…. Like he’s 200% not my type so I don’t understand what happened or why.

I feel so violated, and so ashamed and so confused. I don’t know what to think or what to feel. Has anybody gone through something like this? I don’t know what to do…. I don’t cheat on my fiancé… I love him… I don’t understand. I literally feel so sick to my stomach that I want to disappear right now!

I’m also not a little kid, I’m 30 years old…. So the fact that I blacked out alone is super shameful…