Sex before marriage. (My thoughts and feelings to anyone that wishes to read.)
I can't get my mind to agree and accept that it's okay to have sex before marriage. I've always believed in love before sex. If there's love..sex is ok. So far I've had three sex partners in 21 years of my life. All of whom I have felt love for and loved me.
Still. Deep inside, because I was raised by two strict old fashioned parents I feel I have failed myself. Not only that, but one of my exs from a past life has affected me quite a bit. He was pretty emotionally and verbally abusive. He convinced me (I was a virgin at the time) that I was special because I managed to keep my virginity for so long (18 years). And if I hadn't I'd be a slut. And a majority of girls were disgusting and dirty and shameful sluts, because they didn't save themselves for marriage. I felt proud, but also disturbed by this.
I now feel ashamed in myself. Having just gotten out of a long relationship with someone I thought I was going to marry (different guy). He was my first. I can't help but feel I failed myself, and a little dirty at the same time.
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