Today just sucks and I’m feeling so sad.

When I went for my 8 week US I had an awful experience and ultimately was told I was dealing with a missed miscarriage. By 10 weeks it was confirmed and I helped the process along by taking meds since my body wasn’t recognizing the miscarriage.

Fast forward and one of my good friends announced she was pregnant 8 weeks ago and today got to have her first US and see her baby with a heartbeat. I’m obviously so happy for her but I’m just so bummed and sad that I didn’t get to have that same experience. Instead I’m two miscarriages deep and no answers as to why they happened.

She’ll likely never know the pangs of sadness that sweep over you as the technician says nothing and tries to reassure you I could just be very early or maybe you ovulated late. I’ll never be comfortable in a pregnancy bc the whole time I’ll worry about losing another one.

I’m just sad.