I’m at a loss here and I’m very very worried and stressed. I need advice on what to do. My boyfriend has some serious medical problems going on right now. He has a congenital heart defect that caused one of his heart valves to be bad. He’s had multiple bypass operations and was considered terminal until Last November he had a heart valve transplant. They took the valve out and replaced it with a cow jugular.

Before his surgery, he suffered from seizures often. He told me the reason he has seizures is because his brain wasn’t getting enough oxygenated blood because of his heart.

Also, because of his heart, a seizure can stop his heart and kill him so everytime he has one it’s absolutely necessary to call 911.

After his surgery, he went from November to June without ANY seizures, it’s the longest he’s gone in his whole life without them.

Starting from june, he’s had 8 seizures in total. Idk how to categorize this so I’m just going to categorize it by hospital visits

The first visit was just one seizure

The second visit was 3 seizures in a row

This visit, he had four seizures.

So he is getting worse and worse. He is on the highest dose of kepra everyday and has alarms set to take it and YES he takes it everyday like he’s supposed to and still has seizures. The seizures are also getting more violent as they go on, and when he has them and EMS gets here and he gets his vitals checked, his oxygen levels plummet into the 80s. That was not happening the first 2 hospital visits.

When he wakes up from a seizure, he is delirious and has major memory loss. This is completely normal for seizures but just listen.

Because he has memory loss, he doesnt even know who I am.

He is also VERY VERY mean. He’s mean to me, anyone else there, hospital staff, and DEMANDS to leave. Cusses everyone out, rips his IVS out, and acts in all just insane.

I can’t make him stay. I have called his mom, and she can’t make him stay either. He’s grown and nobody can MAKE him stay, even though he very much needs to.

I left to go eat, shower, and get my inhaler the last time he was in the hospital because he was asleep for 6 hours in the Er and when he woke up the doctor called me and said “if you can make him stay, do it. He NEEDS to stay and have tests done.”

Like he SHOULD be hospitalized right now.

But when I came back, he was outside of the hospital barefoot and MAD AS HELL. We argued, he thought I was his mother, and he absolutely refused to turn around and go back inside.

After a seizure he’s not himself, he doesn’t know what’s going on, doesn’t remember anything that happened, it’s NOT his fault either. He is not CHOOSING to be that way he has no control over it. He comes to me later and apologizes for being an ass. He’s upset with himself for leaving last time.

He doesn’t remember anything but he knows he was an ass and knew i was very upset he didn’t stay and listen to doctors.

I don’t know what the FUCK TO DO. I am having his friends come up with me next time because I don’t even know what in the FUCK ELSE TO DO.

he hadnt had his 6 month check up appointment with his cardiac surgeon. He hadn’t made an appointment with his neurologist like he’s been told to do.

I just got to this point where I told him if he wanted to be with me, these are things he has to do in order to keep me around because I love him and want him to be ALIVE. I’m hoping that next time he’s in the hospital and they want to keep him, that me and his friends can make him stay. He has agreed to this and agrees next time he needs to stay. We all agreed to be there when he wakes up to face him and get him to stay.

As of now he’s made appointments with both his heart and brain doctors and I will be going with him to these appointments.

I probably sound crazy, but there’s only so much I or medical staff can do. Another thing, him leaving against doctors orders so many damn times is going to cause him to lose his disability care which he ABSOLUTELY requires as someone who was literally considered terminally ill before his last heart surgery. As someone who is medically fragile with a serious heart condition he needs disability.

I probably sound insane, but I am stressed the fuck out. He does this thing where when he feels fine, he just like ignores that he has major medical issues and it’s like he’s been in denial that his seizures are getting worse and wasn’t seeing his doctors and i finally put my foot the fuck down and made some demands about doctors visits and how things are gonna go from this point forward and I don’t care if that’s selfish of me. I love him and I accept him with medical issues that’s not his fault. I however do not accept him not taking care of himself and ignoring serious health concerns and doctors.

His mom told me that if anyone is going to make him stay at the hospital it’s me. I’ve tried and tried.

If anyone has any advice on what to do the next time he wakes up from a seizure out of his mind trying to fight hospital staff and extremely mean, let me know. Because I’m clueless. If I can’t do it with the help of his friends, that’s it like I don’t have any other ideas.

When i cant get him to stay, it makes me feel like I’m failing him. I am

I am scared that if I dont put my foot down, the worst will happen to him.