Hi to anyone reading,

I’m fading. What does that mean? I’m finding it really hard to experience the joys of life because I’m not entirely sure what that means anymore. In 2020 during the height of COVID I miscarried at 7 months. Because of the restrictions, I went through this alone. The only in-person contact I had was the nurses and doctors. It was the probably the most emotional and mentally trying time of my adult life. I haven’t been the same since then. I haven’t recovered. Life went on for everyone and mine paused. I find it hard to function most days and I am truly putting up a facade but inside I am screaming, I am dying. I have anxiety attacks. I’m either numb to everything or affected by everything. I have a hard time being fully present to my sons. Financially things feel like I can’t get ahead. There’s so much weighing me down and I can’t help but drown