I guess things never go as planned because we talked on the phone every single night and we texted 24/7. You came to me for everything and I was always there! I liked you so much and you liked me too. I remember when we first hung out at the mall. You kissed me for the first time in a photo booth, haha. I couldn't have been happier. We planned so much together! to lose our virginities, do everything together. 

I can't believe you had sex with someone else. I've never cried over a guy, but I cried over you that Sunday morning. I should've left then. 

I decided to date someone else, but I quickly ended it because he was not you. 

You never forgave me for that. 

You met someone and you called her the love of your life, I've never been more hurt. When things didn't work with her, you ran back to me and I was there for you. 

it's now my birthday and I decided to spend it with you, my best friend, in a beautiful hotel! that night you told me that I was the one for you and it's always been me this whole time and you did so much for me that night! I lost my virginity to you and I was so happy that it was with you and I knew for sure that this was our time.

How could I have been so stupid? you told me a week later that you were back with the girl and I've never hated myself more. 

You guys broke up again and there's no guess that you've run back to me and I was there with open arms. we went to the mall and we went to your house and on the way you asked me to be your girlfriend. I said yes of course! finally! lol. we played uno and had sex all night. I was so happy. Ecstatic 

Sadly, a week later we broke up because "I didn't have faith in us." I told him, "I don't want to have sex for awhile and if he can't deal with it then we should break up." I offended him he says because I thought he only cared about sex. I've never felt so bad. 

We haven't talked in 2 months but I've heard that you and that girl were back together, you even let her attend your graduation. I've given up on me and you. 

it's been a total of 8 months since I've heard from you and you asked to meet because you miss me. you ask me about school and life and It's a genuine conversation. We end up having sex again. You never text me unless it's for sex and I realize this so I don't have it with you for awhile.

I had sex with you again because idk I was horny and you made me feel horrible afterwards.

it's been months since I've heard from you, but I found out you were with the girl that initially broke your heart before we met and that hurt me so much. I've never been so upset with you. you hurt me to my fucking core Ethan. You can make it work with someone who hurt you so much, but not me because of a misunderstanding? I was done for real that time. 

You messaged me and it's because you and the girl broke up. I tell you off about how selfish you are and you tell me. "I just never liked you in that way, but we have amazing sex. I'm so sorry."

I hate you so much. I can't believe I allowed myself to be so dumb with you. I hate myself for that. I never regret anything but I regret you. I can't let another boy touch me without thinking he's using me. I can't even feel anything for anyone because I don't want to get hurt. I just hate that I was so dumb with you and even though you don't have to like me, you could've ended it because you knew how I felt about you. you're so damn selfish and everything that's happening to you is karma. I hate you. you don't even check me, but I thought you cared. fuck you, I hate you. 

THIS FEELS SO GOOD TO GET OUT. I've held this in for awhile, I don't have friends to talk about this with! ahh!!!