We have 4 boys and i want to try for a 5th. I have one last try in me because im 33 and will be 35 soon and told myself i want to not have kids past 35. So This is my last and final window. Also because my can has five seats in the back so why not use them? haha Another point is I’ve always wanted to have a big family. I started out saying ten is my ideal haha but it is too hard to fit that mant in my time frame unless i was having like twins each time 😂

and finally, i have nothing against my boys i love then dearly and will just accept my fate as a boy mom if my final go is a boy also (which is what i expect to be honest haha im juat a boy making machine 🤷🏾‍♀️) but still, thats one last try for a girl and i would be elated because i would have someone to dress up in cute styles, to braid thwir hair, to pass on my female knowledge too and other experiances you juat sont get with boys if that makes sense… like u sont have a peroid talk with bots for example (not that thats a huge highlight to look forward too but because i’ll kind of miss not getting to share on my female wisdom and perspective if that makes sense…)

so those are my main reasoning plus that it will just feel ‘wrong’ or i feel itll make me feel stressed and sad to know i have one more baby left to try for. like stopping before i feel ‘done’ wont feel right physically and mentally… like think about when youre going number 2 😂 and ur kid starts screaming outaide and u just gotta stop quickly and go chrck on them but u wasnt truly finished with what u were doing 🤣 resiculous example ik but it dont feel right!! feels aweful 🥴🥴

my husband is telling me that I NEED to get surgery to get myself fixed to not have kids also. but he cant force me to a surgery i dont want, si hes saying he’ll just never sleep with me again… wow…

tbh i am rly just blowing off what hes saying rn and hoping he will change his mind in time but any advice uf he doesnt? like what can i do ? just accept my fate? i feel it will certainly make me feel some type of way towards him, u kno?

(((p.s. please no comments about me just being selfish or needing to be grateful. I am not ungrateful, i love my kids and find it a mircicle and blessing that i have as many as i do and i know it is in gods hands whether i have a 5th or not even, but i beleive its still on me to try and in my religion the more a married couple is having children the bigger a blessing it is so i feel its a good thing to be trying. i know others struggle out there and are not as furtune. my own sister has been trying for a third and has lost the baby 4 times in a row now and atill only has two but keeps trying. i know others try forever and struggle just to have one and sont get that. Please dont compare me to other situations as im fully aware if them and dont discredit their harsahip what so ever. This is just the personal situation im going through in my life so please i hope you all can be underatanding as i gave my info and reasoning… thank you)