Would this bother you?

Question

Please tell me if I’m overly sensitive. I just feel bothered. 
Me and my partner have gone round and round over this topic. Basically he works I stay home with our 3 kids. He’s worked a lot this summer and all our kids have been home. It’s been literally just me. Super exhausting. We have an 8,6 and now 3 year old. They just started back to school and pre school on Monday. My older two have to be there by 7:30, so we wake up at 6:45 to get ready, while my toddler doesn’t have to be there till 8:30. So I usually get him up by 8 at the latest or if my partner isn’t home he has to wake up when we do and I have to drag him along which sucks. Anyway. My partner works in the medical field so his shifts are usually 3 days a week and he’s gone the rest of the time, bc of how his schedule is the last few months it’s been all over the place and he’s been gone for most of the week ( he’s travel so his job is father from home) since Monday my rest time has been while they been at school. So yes I’ve had a few breaks this week. However he’s coming home tonight and he is wanting us to get in shape back in the gym etc. which listen that’s fine but I need help with tasks. He thinks just bc he worked and is coming home tonight he shouldn’t have to help me the next morning in taking the kids or a kid to school in the morning. So this convo went like this, he says “ we will go to the gym after you take our toddler to preschool” 
I said “ I’m exhausted, if I had your help in taking a kid in the morning maybe I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed and can go to the gym, since I have to do everything all day with them it would be nice to get some relief off my shoulders, I don’t want to do everything then just get up and immediately go work out, it can be very tiring and overwhelming for me” 
He then said “ life isn’t easy, If you wanna loose weight you gotta just push through even if your tired from taking all the kids” 
Like it throws my off ? He didn’t even acknowledge what I was saying and just made it sound like I’m being lazy about it. Like I understand you worked all day today but your come home tonight, will sleep tonight, why can’t he get up also and help? At least take our toddler at 8? Lol am I being overly sensitive? I just feel like just bc he works everything is always on me. I’m so tense and I keep the house clean, laundry always done, all cooking on me, taking them everywhere picking them up all the appts like grocery shopping literally all on me, baths etc. But he can’t get up and help take one child to school then expects me to just go to the gym? Idk. It’s annoying and doesn’t feel fair.

Answer

Not all the chores and childcare should be on you. That doesn’t make any sense. But, all the other commenters are right-your kids are in school. You DO have time to yourself. If you want to go to the gym, go while they’re at school.

Answer

I’m actually grossed out by the comments. 
For everyone who thinks men shouldn’t help raise their own children, EW. Him providing doesn’t mean he can’t parent or help with chores. And it doesn’t matter if your kids are in school now and you don’t need to go to the gym simply because he tells you do. Running a household alone, caring for children alone is a full time job even when you have a few hours reprieve. Women need to stop mom shaming and start holding men/Dad’s/partners fucking accountable. 
He needs to step up. Period. 
I will say, your approach is very accusatory and passive aggressive. There are many way for you to get your point across but discussing how YOU are feeling and what you need
taken off your plate. 
“ I need, I feel” are great places to start. You two are a team and need to remember that.

Answer

So what your saying is you can nap during the day while your kids are at school and can also sleep at night, yet he’s working all day and your exhausted ?? Yea ngl if I was him I would be mad.

Answer

Ehhh. Coming from someone who works 12.5 hr shifts on their feet back to back if you haven’t then you won’t understand it’s exhausting as hell. I’m so drained I usually sleep until my next shift start time almost. I have two kids one I don’t have during my working days every day besides that I have them full time alone. It’s hard but I make do. 
I’d say let him sleep and you take them because I know he is wore out badly. If you don’t work and only have the children a few hrs a day essentially it’s better you take them. Could he help out every now and then? Sure but I wouldn’t be too mad at this. This may seem harsh but manage your time better and you’ll be golden. Laundry, shopping and cleaning is annoying but it’s manageable. 
Also that tired feeling wears off in a bout 20min after working out.

Answer

Lol what all your kids go to school during the day. If they weren’t in school, I could understand. But you are just chillin.

Answer

So your kids are all gone during the day...... you have them for maybe 5 hours a day.... he works 12 hr shifts and your mad at him. You dont work get your shit together and figure it out. You dont have kids to chase everyday all day long or to do anything. Cleaning and laundry etc, doesnt take all day long. I have a shit load of kids at home everyday and it doesnt take all day long to clean up after them, feed them, etc. So if yours are in achool and preschool you really have no excuse

Would this bother you?

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