4 days late but not confident

After 5 years of trying today I’m going to test I’m not confident at all that it will be positive because why now?.. is my mentality but I’ve sent my partner to the shop to get tests and honestly if they are negative I may throw up cry and poop at the same time I go through painful periods every month that have me in bed for the first two days and if this isn’t it I give up i will go on the pill or something to stop or reduce my periods because it’s not worth it I’ve never been on contraception never even had a pregnancy scare nothing we are trying naturally