My insurance is changing (in addition to some other life events involving money so I'm very stressed) and my only choice was an insurance that covers literally every doctor and lab and person in the hospital I have been going to EXCEPT the midwives I have been seeing. So my only choice is to switch to an obgyn.

I'm super upset because with my son 12 years ago I didn't know any better, didn't even want to be pregnant, was all alone and 20 years old but it was the worst experience ever besides coming home with my baby. I ended up with a c-section due to the chord being wrapped around his chest. But it was traumatic and I didn't hold my baby for almost an hour after and I was basically poked and prodded and given shots and all sorts of things without anyone explaining or asking me what I wanted. And then I think because at the time I was on medicaid, they never checked on me in recovery and ignored me till I left. I had to cry and beg them to let me breastfeed. They would send in doctors to tell me I was hurting my baby because he was losing weight (milk comes in slower for c-section babies and notoriously those babies lose some weight, they were lying to me).

So now I feel extremely upset having to go to an obgyn who is going to question me having a vbac. Be mean about breastfeeding. Try to tell me what to do the whole time and treat me like I'm sick. Childbirth is natural and shouldn't be treated like you are ill.

Am I being dramatic? Are there better obgyns out there rather than the evil ones I met 12 years ago????? Help me feel better 😭