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I have had a miscarriage, but I really don’t feel that people needed to present their own pregnancy to me any differently. I am a very straightforward communicator and wouldn’t be comfortable with anything other than “I want to let you know I’m pregnant”. I don’t want people getting weird and sappy over my pregnancy that didn’t end well. I would be really uncomfortable if they did. Just tell me. I’m going to be super excited for you, no strings attached.
Those who have miscarried or suffered loss...
I would LOVE to know your thoughts and opinions on this topic specifically.
If you have had a loss, in your opinion what is the best way for a family member to reveal they are pregnant to you? I have a friend who suffered a traumatic loss in December of last year and she's been mentally reeling ever since. I just found out I am pregnant and normally she would be one of the first to know, but given her predicament I am terrified of hurting her with my news.
I want to be gentle and respectful of her and her emotions during this time, can you help teach me how?
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I've had two miscarriages and have never expected anyone to tell me differently or separately from a general announcement. Closer to when I lost my babies, that news was tough to hear, but that was my problem, not anyone else's. Generally speaking, I'm pretty good at keeping my emotions at bay in situations like that and then processing by myself later. People should get to enjoy their pregnancy and announcing it without worrying that I'm going to fall apart over it.
lk
I'm also excited for all the babies, though, which probably helps. If you're excited and happy, I am too.
I’ve had a few miscarriages and ultimately when people told they were pregnant I felt really jealous. I felt happy for them but at the same I was angry that it wasn’t me who was pregnant. They were my feelings I needed to confront. I just stayed away until I could share in her joy and not feel terrible about it. I would tell her sooner rather than later
I’ve dealt with infertility and several losses - one of which was exponentially more traumatic than the rest of them. My biggest worry is being told in a group setting or at an event because even though I would be happy for whoever is pregnant, I know myself well enough to not feel confident that I’ll be able to hold it together in front of others when hearing the news.
☀️
This is a good point. Privately would be best.
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