I know my boyfriend loves me, i know he wont cheat on me, i know watching porn doesnt mean he doesnt care about me. But years ago when we were talking about our sex life as partners and that topic came up, i told him i felt uncomfortable with him recurring to porn everytime i was unable to “provide content for him”.

It made me feel like i was in the obligation to constantly provide “my own content” for him to “calm his urges”. But sometimes im not in the mood or dont have the time or right context for me to record stuff or send pictures. So it always made me feel like i was “sending him off to porn” by not responding to “his needs” sometimes. But i wanted to believe that since years ago i opened up and told him how i felt about it, it wouldnt still be an issue.

Last night, we were talking again about our sex life in a very healthy and nice way, and then he brought the fact that he goes back to the content i share, or asks for more like “60%-65%” of the times he wants to touch himself and i was like oh hahah and what do you do the rest of the times? And he said porn. And i was like..didnt we talk about this like two years ago?😅

I aknowledge some relationships have different dynamics and even share the practice of watching porn. I dont look down on them. But i dont agree with that for me. So as much as i respect other relationship dynamics, i want mine to be respected as well.

It doesnt feel healthy to feel like i constantly have to record myself in order for him to avoid porn, something i told him i didnt feel comfortable with.

Im not asking for much. Not like im saying “you cant masturbate without telling me” or “im gonna feel offended if you dont masturbate to the camera for me”. He can do it as much as he wants, but he should be able to respect that only boundary i set about the whole thing.

I asked him if he would feel comfortable with me watching strong men, with big parts and all, having sex with other women. And he admited he wouldnt, and that he would even feel bad about his image if that was the case. So i told him “then how is it that it doesnt work like that the other way around?” Kind of unfair, isnt it?