My husband just left with our baby (19 months old) to go on a drive to try and put him to sleep. When I gave birth, I brought my pump because I had no intention on breastfeeding straight from the source. The nurse told me my milk will get stuck in the tubing and every drop counts and of course as a first time mom who has never breastfed or knows nothing about the pump contraction I believed her (I had tubing on the pump but come to find out that’s what helps create suction, I wish I knew milk didn’t travel through the tubes) I breastfed from the source for 4 months always thinking it was the only way for my baby to get the most milk, one day I wanted to have lunch with a friend, I tried out the pump and realized at that moment how the milk actually comes out, well at this point my baby does not accept a bottle or a pacifier I was also told since I’m breastfeeding the baby will get the nipples confused with me and pacifier and could starve himself. This lady should not be working as a nurse now that I’ve grown to have experience I have realized how incompetent she is. Anyways, I continued with breastfeeding and naps and bedtime always consisted of me feeding to sleep. I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant with my second baby and I have never had a negative experience with breastfeeding until becoming pregnant. My emotions and hormones are on another level. My MIL absolutely frustrates me when she never has before but she’s never breastfed a day in her life and she’s telling me how to wean. My son won’t even drink juice or milk ONLY WATER 😞 I’ve tried milk at all different temperatures, different types of milk, water, and nothing is working to help wean him. I feel so much pain breastfeeding it’s causing such a negative experience and like I want to just go straight to formula for the next and mentally I’m just losing it I’m so angry. And idk what it is but he now wants to be on my boob minimum 30 minutes and he wakes up SEVERAL times throughout the night and he will have this high pitched screaming cry if I do not give him my boob or the second I take him off. He has all 20 teeth and I am dying. The other night for the first time I tried the cry it out and let him just cry but he’d play, cry, play, and cry and this lasted from 830pm until 3am it killed me and I will not “cold turkey” it again. I don’t know what to do but it’s draining me mentally and physically. My nipples are so tender just from pregnancy and his suck I swear has gone up like 10 notches and with the teeth 😞 just ughhh. My husband has took initiative after hearing me crying. I have so many thoughts running through my head about resentment towards him, frustration towards his repetitive know it all mom, and just this feeling of wanting to be left alone in the night. Since my son is older I don’t even feel comfortable breastfeeding anymore. He talks a bit, is very very aware and smart and I just feel uncomfortable I don’t like it I want to be left alone I just have no idea where to go because I’ve tried rocking, milk, stroller, car, a swing, cry it out one night (cold turkey), and I did a good consistent week for each of these except CIO and nothing has worked. He screams until the moment he gets it and will be on my boob forever 15+ minutes, 30 minutes, I just watch the time pass and im drowning in my thoughts this whole time. I try being on my phone to have a distraction but I can’t distract the pain of his teeth just dragging across my nipples 😞 please help me