WTF!!!!

My partner and I were driving back home from dinner tonight.

On our way home, we were talking about full sibling vs half sibling bonds.

We share a child together and I have a 13 year old from first relationship.

His brother is currently living with us and has been like a third wheel in our relationship since about 5 years ago. His brother would literally go everywhere with us until I eventually told my partner that I am dating him not him AND his brother. I mean, things got ridiculous and to the point where I had to plan for a plus one for EVERYTHING so I just had to set that boundary. It’s been about a year now since his brother is no longer third wheeling it with us and ever since I’ve sensed some tension.

Today, I made a comment about his brother hitting my car door yesterday when he got out of the truck parked next to it while drunk. It was just a comment with zero judgment or rudeness whatsoever. My partner proceeds to ask if I have something against his brother to which I respond no but I think it’s time for you and I to build a life in our home with just us (probably not the best time to bring this up but I didn’t think before I said) He then questions when he has ever said anything about my son living with us!!!! WTF!!!!

background: my partner and I have been knowing each other for 10 years. We have been in a serious relationship for about 5. My son met him about a year into us knowing each other. My partner has never wanted to take over a parenting role because my son’s father is actively involved with him. Things have worked out until now. I do not think I can be with someone who sees my son as “an other” in our family.

My partner has a 10 year old daughter who comes over only as he is able to pick her up since she lives a few hours away and he works 6 days a week usually.

WTF. Im just sitting here thinking about how to handle this moving forward. Any suggestions/comments?

His brother is 30ish years old. He pays a minimal amount of rent and that’s it. No groceries or bills because my partner felt bad asking for more money so he/we suck up those expenses. Over the past 6 months I’ve been the one providing the most financially even though my income is much less than one of theirs. For example, each one of them earns about 8k a month while I earn about 6.

His brother is in the US for work purposes only and has had plans on leaving every year for YEARS so when I accepted for him to live in my house because I’m the sole owner of it, I was under the impression he would only be living with us about a year max.