I’m so tired and I hope I’m not alone in this. I have one week of work left until my unpaid leave finally! I have a job that I can’t continu past 30 weeks because it physically to intense and no way of getting altered conditions as a freelancer.

Anyway I just feel burned up, everyday I wake up tired and stressed about everything that still has to be done and a bit scared I will go into early labor or my water will break early because of all the stress!

I have a 19 month old girl that has decided to have some kind of baby puberty all of a sudden, the last month she went from an easygoing girl who slept amazing into a little raging banshee every time something is not going her way or purposely cry’s until she is totally erratic refusing to sleep while she has eye bags as big as pillows! On top of that we are from start to finish of my pregnancy buried in a hell of a renovation of our downstairs living area. For the last 5 weeks I have been living with my daughter upstairs in two bedrooms while my SO is going full-on Bob the builder mode which he needs to do to get everything finished on time!

I haven’t enjoyed pregnancy at all this time, I feel alone, I have only worked or cared for our daughter had no time to even really prepare for our second and constantly waiting for things to get done so I can do something to prepare! With our first we selected our baby’s first things so carefully, did a hypnobirthing course together with so much love and now I’m just ordering everything from the internet out of ease to just get it done but also have no place to put it because the room to make is only available once we go downstairs again!

And now I have broken down twice this week, my daughter was sick and she made me sick as well. We both have a heavy case of the flu and a sore throat! I had to ask my mother for help and my SO to stop working because I was on the verge of fainting and their help is just not enough for that one day or one hour. I feel burned up like I can’t recharge and have so much to do! I need to do some work that I have to finish at home for my last assignment next week and I just haven’t had the strengt to do it, every time I want to I have my daughter crying and needing extra attention. Sometimes I even feel like it’s my fault and she’s feeling what I’m feeling and it makes me even feel worse not being a good enough mom right now.

Anyway I can keep writhing on and on but I just needed to get this of my chest while my SO is drilling holes in the wall… 🤯