My husband and I have been trying to conceive for awhile now. For about seven months and it’s getting difficult to even think about. I’m so scared we won’t be able to get pregnant.

Two years ago I suffered a horrible miscarriage and lost the baby. This was due to high stress and not getting enough nourishment. The relationship I was in before my husband and I got together, was very abusive and eventually I had enough.

The baby’s (would have been) birthday is on October 12th, which is also around the same time I ovulate this month. I honestly don’t know what to do because the sadness and grief is still there, but at the same time, there’s hope for the future. My husband has always been very supportive and loving during these moments.

Like I said, we’ve been trying.. and I don’t know how to deal with the mixed emotions. It would honestly be a gift from God if he sent a baby our way this month, but I’m scared that if it doesn’t happen and I get my period again.. I might crumble. I know the Lord has a plan for our lives, and I’m trying to stay patient, but it’s becoming much harder.

All I’m asking for is your prayers and thoughts for October. This has been the toughest month of my life for two years. Any advice you could offer would greatly help, as this mama’s heart is hurting.