Am I doing anything right?

Question

I’m so confused! There are all these sleep trainers telling people we need to have babies fall asleep independently to sleep all night and then you have others telling you that babies are biologically wanting their parents and want to feel safe and loved and they will sleep all night when they are ready. So what is the right thing to do? What did you guys do with your babies to help them sleep? All these training courses are so expensive and idk if it’s worth it.

Answer

We didn’t sleep train. My daughter contact napped until 6 months then when we moved her into her own room and a bigger bed, she preferred to sleep in there and all of a sudden she developed her own nap schedule. She has very clear sleep cues and has three good sleeps a day at 8 months. Some people say to drop a nap about now but she’s not ready. She goes to sleep at 7pm and wakes up at 5.30 to 6am. It’s a little early but that’s her time for now. She’ll sleep in later when she’s ready. I tried to do research on sleeping timings and nap schedules etc but, like you, I found it blew my mind. I just respond to what she seems to need and go from there when it comes to sleep. If she’s happy, I’m happy. Go with your gut, mama 👍

Answer

We found a happy middle. We take the forth trimester very seriously, cuddle our kids a lot, but we also don’t have them sleep in bed with us. We had a bassinet that attached to our bed and the side would fold down. When they grow out of that, we rock them to sleep and reassure them but they sleep in their cribs from about 4 months on. They get up throughout the night and are cuddled and reassured and put back. Around 1 we start letting them fuss a little longer if not showing signs of self soothing. It’s developmentally appropriate to hold and have contact with baby in infancy. It’s also important to us the gently learn how to self soothe.

Answer

Do what is best for you and your little one. I read all of this stuff about sleep training and it made me feel like a bad mom, as my little one will only sleep on me. It works for us though 💗

Answer

Honestly, it comes down to your preference and needs. Some people are fine with kids in their beds. Others sleep train their infants in separate rooms. You don’t need an expensive course either if you plan to sleep train. You can Google most methods and figure out which one works for you. 
But babies aren’t usually ready for sleep training until 4-6 months old. Until then focus on good sleep habits:
A set bedtime with a routine. 
A dark room.
Be boring at night (change their diaper, rock them, and feed them as needed, but don’t start playtime or flip on lights). 
Be very interactive in the daylight and other lights during the day.

Answer

First of all, don't pay for a sleep training course. Secondly, do what you feel is best for your family.

Answer

We didn’t sleep train. 
I rocked my son to sleep every night until he asked to stop a few months after turning 2. We didn’t use a white noise machine, didn’t have pitch black room, didn’t keep the room or house completely silent(all the opposite). Most naps of his life were in a stroller outside with lots of traffic noise. He stopped napping at about 2y3months. At that point he started sleeping through the night every night. He slept in a crib until just after turning 3. We moved across the world, gave him a big boy bed, potty trained, started preschool and had just turned 4. 
I give all of these details to just give reassurance to anyone that needs it. Kids will sleep through. Some take longer. Some seem to need lots of intervention and some like my son, seem to be better with less fuss. Every family just needs to decide what works for them and then just be adaptable to baby’s needs.

Answer

how old is your baby? they don’t recommend trying any sleep training until at least 6 months, before that they don’t really know how to self soothe. everyone i’ve heard that had sleep trained have said it was the best choice they’ve made!

Answer

I would never consider sleep training until baby is older, 8-12 months . What you can do though, is when baby does fall asleep, try your hardest to set baby down so they don’t get used to sleeping in your arms. Then it will be very hard to change. Also, as hard as it may be , do not hold your baby 24/7. Have them relaxing next to you, so they also do not get used to you holding them . 
That’s really all you can do while they’re young, but no matter what you do, nothing is “wrong” it’s just about what’s easier in the long run

Answer

My daughter is 13 months and just started sleeping through the night. It has been a slow progression of increased length in hours she sleeps, but I listened to her cues and could not sleep train because she never “just cried” she went from 0-100 screaming, sweating, almost throwing up if I left her to fall asleep independently. So it didn’t work for us. I think there are definitely ways to help a baby sleep more independently without leaving them to cry for hours. A need for mom/dad is just as important as food, etc IMO.

Answer

The Happy Sleeper book has been incredibly helpful for us! It feels like a mix of sleep training and being attuned to their needs.

Am I doing anything right?

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