Maybe it’s just me, and maybe I have poor coping skills, but I am just finding parenting so much more ridiculously difficult and chaotic than anyone else I know.

I know parents who live their same life, just with a kid or two in tow. They still have fun, go places, travel, etc., but I am not able to do any of that without being so incredibly chaotic and stressful that it takes any ounce of joy out of it.

My kids are 4 and 2, both boys. I swear they are just never satisfied or content and constantly complaining and whining. Neither of them listen or comply with anything, despite us having very firm rules and boundaries and consequences. It doesn’t seem to matter. If we try to go to a store, they both refuse to sit in a cart. I mean, screaming/crying about it. If we let them walk, they don’t hold our hands. If we try, they flop to the floor and also scream. If we just let them walk, they run off and grab things off shelves, are loud, bothersome, and do not let us look at anything. It’s constant chasing after them. We do discipline. They have time outs, they get their toys and privileges (like the iPad) taken away, or we straight up just leave a place.

It’s like this every time. No matter how many times I practice with them. Talk with them. Be calm and collected and firm with boundaries. Genuinely nothing works. I find going anywhere with them so incredibly stressful that I hate it.

On the weekends when my husband is off we try to do fun things with them like go to the park and zoo and restaurants but they are just so chaotic. They don’t calm down and just run around like ferals. They will scream and cry if they don’t get exactly what they want. I don’t know anyone that has this problem. I ask my friends all the time, how do you get John to be so quiet and respectful in the library? I get answers like “I don’t know, he just is, and we tell him to stop and he stops.” How do you get Lily to sit while you eat at a restaurant? “I don’t know, she just does.” How do you get Harper to sit in the buggy or stand by you in a store? “I don’t know, she just does.” My kids just aren’t like that. Am I completely alone in this? Are my kids just bad? I genuinely don’t understand. I do all the tips and tricks with gentle parenting, I am firm, I am calm, and nothing works.

I feel so isolated and alone in this. No one I know has kids like mine. They’re constantly running around, loud, never calm, they tell me no to absolutely everything, they whine and cry and scream. All of their friends, and all of my friends’ kids, just don’t act like that.