So I currently live together with my “boyfriend” things have been going down hill since we moved in. I feel like his entire life is a lie. He told me he was co-owner of a car repair shop LIE, he was a professional dancer LIE, he was in the Navy (he only made 1 month in bootcamp) so LIE, he paid half the rent and bills while “taking care of his gm” (shes on section 8 so he paid half of nothing). And he blames everything on him having ADHD when it’s not excusable cuz you don’t even try to cope with it. He’s dirty, i thought he just kept a junky bedroom before because his gm house was clean ( that poor old lady did all the cleaning still). He’s broke and he’s okay with it, i always end paying for everything anytime we go somewhere. He hasn’t taken me on a proper date in 2yrs (proper means im not paying the tab or planning it). I voiced my concerns multiple times… nothing. I tried to break up once he threw how my exes treated me like shit in previous relationships in my face and guilt tripped me. Time went on, i started hanging out with my friend who happens to be an ex ( i wS honest and disclosed that) he came over so i could spend time with his daughter bf is in attendance. I took him home and he told me about this video game i should play and showed me a game play vid on yt. Didn’t even take 20 mins. Get back home “what were you doing?” “I didn’t know you weren’t coming straight back”. Blah blah so i don’t bring my friend back and only hangout at his place or out. We’ve been friends 5 years after breaking up never screwed around. There is attraction but we both respect each other not to do anything. I come home from hanging out with him and his daughter one day my bf asks “can i ask you something? Why did you cheat on me? I know you did, you came home smelling like sex.” We’re in a “open “ relationship but neither us has gone to do anything bc covid in my case idk why he hasn’t. But the moral is i haven’t been with anyone. Like we don’t even have sex, its October and we haven’t since January. So I get defensive because the last you finna do is accuse me of something I didn’t do especially without cause. Then he says it was a joke, he wanted to see how id react. Thats not a joke to me, so i clean all his shit out the room and put it in the empty room and tell him he needs to get a bed cuz he can’t sleep with me anymore. I suffer from anxiety and BPD and all this bs really been taking a toll. So I have another break up talk this guy says if we break up he can’t stay here nomore and he not gonna pay his rent blah blah basically screwing me over because “he got places to stay at its not a problem” then he tries the guilt trip thing from before then goes and pulls out this raggedy ass engagement ring talking about he was going to propose im just throwing what we have away. I don’t respond. I can’t afford both portions of rent plus all the bills so i talk to my mom. She told me to be nice tell him I rethought and plan how I get out. So we don’t talk fr i just provide food like normal and try to stay out the house. End of September I let him know my mental health is failing and that I need to stay with family for a while so I can get treatment. Im really just moving in with my aunt to save up to move because my landlord is very understanding and letting me break my half of the lease. Once im out i plan to block him on everything and just start over. I hate it here. Friday I was accused of cheating again and I honestly think I want to now. But not really hanging out with my friend is literally the only time I at peace lately and ion wanna mess that up. Not being involved like that worked for 5 years, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

Rant iver