I also got pregnant very easily (first time with no protection) with my first child, but then TTC for a year and half with my second. Just because you got pregnant easily this time doesn't necessarily mean you will get pregnant easily the next time. We don't have family near by and I work full time. Your maternal instincts kick in and you make it work. Holding that baby in your arms for the first time is a moment you will never forget.
Need advice from moms!

Erika
Hello all, this is my first pregnancy (and first post)! My husband and I have been married for a year but we were not planning to have kids for another year or so. I'm 4w5d now, I found out on 12/22. I wish we were excited about this, but we have so much we want to do before a child and we are seriously considering not keeping it. We're 29 and 32, so definitely mature enough to handle it, but I just started a great job and we do not have a support system close enough to us to help as much as we would need to both work full time.
My question is to mothers out there- I feel like I'm about to plunge into the unknown, so how do you work and have a kid without having family close by? Does anyone seriously regret deciding to not have a child at a time in their life when it would have been hard? Is it worth all the work and being away from your family?
Any advice is greatly appreciated and I would be happy to provide more info if anyone asks!
(For the record, adoption is completely off the table, and I got pregnant very easily so I'm not worried about that in the future)
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Posted at
To be honest after reading your replies to everybody I don't think your ready to have a kid. You still seem very selfish and there are too many kids that have horrible parents or parents that don't love them. When you have a kid you give up your life so they can have the best life you can give them. I don't understand how you don't think it's murder when there is clearly a life inside of you. Maybe listen to the song Can I live by nick cannon. It's still your decision but if your not ready to change your life for the life of your baby then maybe you shouldn't have it. Its better to have an abortion than to have a child you can't love because you think they ruined your plans in life. No child deserves that. Right now you can still get the pill for your abortion. But think about this. At 8 weeks the baby can actually feel psychological and physical pain. So an abortion at that stage hurts the baby a lot. I would say wait until you hear the heartbeat cuz it could make you fall in love but at that point if you still decide to have the abortion the baby will feel it so please if you decide to do it do it asap. I just reread what I wrote and I know it comes off rude but I really don't mean it that way lol I'm just giving my opinion. Text and voice come off different so sorry if it sounded rude but you have a lot to think about so take this seriously. And the reason your getting so many mean replies is because you came to the wrong place for that question. Most ladies on here are trying to have a baby or pregnant. It's hard for ppl who have a hard time having kids to hear about ppl getting an abortion because all they wish for is a baby. And pregnant ppl are just emotional anyway lol. I want to cry for your baby but that's just because I'm pregnant and emotional lol.
He
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I don't think people are trying to be outright mean I think they are just shocked. There are ladies on here who have been trying for YEARS and would give anything in your spot. So obviously this is going to be a touchy subject especially considering you're not a 16 year old with no job or partner. Maybe go to a doctors appointment first and hear the heartbeat, that might change your mind. You could really regret this later if you have trouble conceiving again when you actually want kids.
Sc
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I am 38 years old and almost 8 weeks pregnant with my first child with my husband of 6 years. When I was 19, I got pregnant by my then boyfriend who was very adamant about not wanting it. I was a freshmen in college and in love. In addition, my father is a Pentecostal pastor, so me having a child out of wedlock was a huge no no so I had an abortion. It's something that I hugely regret because I do not believe in them and I've always wanted to be a mother as long as I could remember. It was a hard decision and one I have not fully ever gotten over. Fast forward 12 years, I was married in 2009 to my AMAZING husband and diagnosed with PCOS. I was told I would never be a mother and should not even TRY to get pregnant by several doctors. Six years later, I am pregnant with my first after going through many doctors, days and nights of crying, and negative pregnancy tests. My husband and I live in Minnesota and all of my family live in michigan. My husband's family is spread out all over so we have no support system either. That makes no difference though because as many mothers have told me, "it will work itself out". You'll figure it out. I have enjoyed my husband. We've went on trips and had a bunch of fun but now it's time to focus my attention on my baby. God never gives you more than you can handle. Give it some serious though and make sure you're making the right decision for all involved. That bunch of cells you called it is a human life. You were once a bunch of cells too. Remember that
Ki
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From your responses to other peoples comments I seems to me you pretty much have already made up your mind. You don't want it so don't have it. Personally I am pro life for moral & religious reasons but I am not you and you will have to face the consequences of your own actions. Honestly, from everything you are saying, you already consider this baby a huge burden and I feel sorry for it. My first was very much unplanned and unexpected and I sacrificed a lot to give my child life. In the the last 9 1/2 years I've never regretted one single moment.
Ki
Kimberly • Dec 27, 2015
and thats what motherhood his. being willing to make sacrifices for your children. if you're not willing to do that, you shouldn't be a mother
Li
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Plenty of women have abortions and don't regret it. Plenty of married and financially stable women who aren't ready for children have abortions and don't regret it. I know some of them! If it's not the right time for you, make the choice that's right for your family now.
Er
Erika • Dec 26, 2015
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comment, Liz!
Br
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I don't think there is ever a perfect time to have a baby. I find many of the comments being thrown at you to be unfair and very judgmental. You asked a question in what should be a safe place and turned out to be quite the opposite. To just answer your question: if you want children later I do think that you should have this baby. I had my daughter at 19. I was married yes, but we were not making much money at the time to make it. I am now on baby number 3 at 30 and though I am in a much different place, having a baby is scary no matter what. I assure you. You and your husband will not regret this baby.
Be
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This is a rough forum. I'm sorry for some of the anger it has brought up. This is a sensitive subject for many. Honestly, I think your age shouldn't have a thing to do with it. If you do not want to be a mother, then I'd terminate immediately. However, if you think you want to be a mother one day, consider this your day. Aborting can cause serious complications to your body, potentially eliminating your ability to conceive again. It's a really hard decision and ultimately, it's up to you. (How unhelpful, right?) if it makes you feel better, I'm a career person and my husband is in Med school. I'm 6 weeks pregnant and. While it's not perfect timing, I recognize it never will be. Nothing is perfect. We do the best we can. I hope you make a decision that will be the best outcome for all involved. Either way, it's going to be hard. Good luck and try to see the bright side- whichever side that may be. 😘
Sa
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I think being married & financially stable and aborting a baby will be the most selfish & irresponsible decision of your life. You did this & it's time to take responsibility and be happy. There are plenty of married couples out there who want to punch you in the face right now, just saying. Be thankful for your blessing!
Jo
Josie • Dec 26, 2015
^in continuation to that comment, I am not judging you on your decision. I just want you to be aware that there will be a lot of women judging you on this app because some are struggling with conceiving or have just lost a child through miscarriage or still birth.
Jo
Josie • Dec 26, 2015
So you thought coming onto an app where everyone is all about babies that you'd get an answer? This is ultimately you and your husbands decision. No one can decide it for you. I'm going to pray for you two. I pray that you make the right decision for you (and if that means not keeping it so be it).
Er
Erika • Dec 26, 2015
Yes you must be perplexed a lot. You have never asked why this is hard for me and being married does not automatically mean that I'm financially stable or my life is perfect. I'm clearly undecided if I'm asking strangers for their advice. I'm clearly mental to think I will get an intelligent reply
Bu
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I would say go through the pregnancy and choose adoption. I have to agree with the last post, you're definitely not ready to be a mom. Let's say you do give up your "great job" and you decide to have the baby. If you have any regrets your child may be burdened for them. Babies aren't as clueless as most people think and that child growing up with a complex isn't worth it. You either want them or you don't.Let me tell you a bit about me, I have a15 month old and I'm 8 weeks pregnant with mine and my husbands 2nd. I had my first when I was 29. I'm going to be 31 when this 2nd child is born. Both pregnancies were a surprise, we didn't plan anything remotely involving kids. However, I lived my life enough to know that my new challenge as a mother has been worth every minute so far. I graduated early from high school and had an early career as well as my husband. I have had experiences in my life that were great, weird, terrible, all apart of life, I partied hard, hanging out recklessly with my friends, as well as worked hard my whole life but I'll tell you right now nothing is harder than being a mom. All limits are tested and we as women still come up resilient and learn as we go along. However this is not the life for you. You said you don't want to keep it, but I have a few of friends who want kids so bad, and they can't. So please consider adoption. Judging by your replies you seem like you have an answer for everything which makes me ask myself why you bothered to ask for advice at all. It is your choice in the end after all, however I think your mind was made up before you wrote your first post. Good luck in everything you do, I hope it all works out

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