I’m not my boyfriends “type”

So I’m feeling a bit insecure and want some honest opinions on this matter, because I’m probably in my own head.

Before my boyfriend and I got together, he was very honest and super vocal about the type of girl he liked — everyone knew about it, including me, so this is also probably my own shortcoming 😅 But I’m not this type. When we got together people were surprised he was with me, seeing as I’m completely *not* what he was very explicitly open about being into.

I kinda brushed it under the rug and pushed it to the back of my mind and he didn’t talk about his type anymore after we got together either, but he did have photos of models etc on his phone that matched his type still, and this bothered me a little bit and made me feel insecure so I asked him to remove those photos just to make me feel better to which he complied, but it’s still always in the back of my mind that I’m not what he initially wanted in a woman; then this evening we were going through his computer together because he found a bunch of old family photos and wanted to show me, which led to him wanting to go through all his folders with me.

Then we found an album which contained hundreds of photos of the type of girl he likes. I felt immediately sad. It’s an old folder so it’s not like he’s looking at it a lot or updating it at all, but seeing it did hurt. It reminded me that I’m *not* what those girls are, I’m the total opposite actually, and it made me realise that this is probably always going to be a huge insecurity of mine unless I work on it.

We have a baby together and we’re engaged so that obviously means, rationally, that he likes me enough to not be bothered that I’m not his type, but I still can’t help but feel sad about that fact. I even thought to myself, “it must suck to have your heart set on a specific type of person to end up with the total opposite.”

So I feel a bit down and out over it 😅 I obviously need to work on myself and try to get over my insecurity but that folder definitely hurt my feelings a bit today