What do you do when your child throws a tantrum?

Question

My son is currently 2 years and 3 months. 
Today I was at my moms and noticed he did a number 2 in his nappy so I went to the bathroom to wash him. He was kicking and fighting me because he didn’t want to be washed, but cleaning him with wipes is harder so I thought I’ll just wash him. It turned into him absolutely losing it - he was screaming, crying, and couldn’t contain his rage. I ignored it as I was putting on his nappy.. it went on for about 15 mins, absolutely hysterical that the neighbour called to check if everything was ok. At one point my sister who is also a mom was in disbelief and told me to grab him and yell at him to STOP. I said it doesn’t work, he’s in the middle of a tantrum, nothing can calm him down. After 20 mins of rage, I took him outside, distracted him and he settled. My mom and sister think I need to be firm and yell at him to stop. Should I have done that rather than let it go on for 20 mins?

Answer

Firstly shouting and screaming at a child does not have any benefit at all, my now 13 year old had the worst tantrums I have ever seen, I would put him on time out too cool down then go and get down too his level and explain his bad behaviour, but absolutely not shouting or screaming.

Answer

You’re the mom and you make the rules for your family. You can tell him with a stern voice but when they’re having a tantrum, they can’t co tell their emotions and yelling at them isn’t going to help one bit.

Answer

Giving choices. Telling him what you will do before you do it.
At this age they like to be in control. Offer the options, where do you want your nappy changed, here or there? How would you like to be cleaned? Etc

Answer

Did you try to ask him which way he prefer to be cleaned? My son was much more compliant when I gave him a choice and it could have been done his way. Also it is worth to figure out togrther with your child how the cleaning time can be done better? It seem like there is something in your routine that triggers his bad behaviour.

Answer

Honestly yelling doesn’t solve anything. Just do what you think is right.

Answer

My daughter (22 months) has been watching Mrs Rachel on YouTube. She learned about taking “belly breaths” a calm down method
So when she’s upset and screaming I now tell her to breathe and I breathe in and out slowly with her.
It’s magically worked it calm her down. I’m surprised haha
Sometimes I say remember what Mrs Rachel says? She says to take a belly breath? And she slows down and relaxes for a minute.

Answer

For our daughter we step back and let her have the tantrum. Sometimes even leaving the room if our presence isn't helping. They have big emotions that they just don't know how to control and no amount of yelling or punishing would fix that. Once she calms down a bit I offer her a hug and try to discuss why she was upset and what would have been an appropriate reaction. She's 3 so the discussion is easier now. At 2 it was mostly me explaining to her how she could have reacted. 
Some parents say giving a hug during a tantrum helps calm it down. For our daughter we have to wait until she calms down.

What do you do when your child throws a tantrum?

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