I am a stay at home mom (SAHM) my husband works from home. we just had our first baby March of this year. Our relationship definitely changed after baby which I know happens to everyone. It’s been good—ups and some downs as that is life!

I never thought I would be a SAHM. I love it and wouldn’t change it don’t get me wrong! But I was brought up to be independent, worked and went to school since high school and throughout college. Now my job is to be a full time mom which I adore and do house work. We live in a ton home so no outside work needs to be done.

Being a newer mom ( my baby is 7 months old, going on 8) I love to spend time with him and teach him and sing to him etc. I try to entertain him while I do dishes tidy up etc. sometimes I enjoy him and let him nap on my chest after a bottle and I rest with him. I clean the majority of the house(bathrooms,floors,laundry(sometimes my husband will fold clothes),cook,take care of baby boy etc). I was also exclusively pumping for the first 4 months as my boy was in nicu and didn’t latch well. It was a lot of work. Exclusively pumping alone is sooooo much work and takes up energy too. Well I pump now 2 times a day morning and night.

So this morning I was pumping in bed as usual for my baby’s morning bottle, and my husband in bed plays with the baby and changes his diaper from the night. I like quiet me time while I’m pumping. My husband goes, “hello look at this—you’re always on your phone I’m the morning while pumping and never present” I say, “well as soon as I am done pumping I feed the baby his bottle since you don’t like feeding him and then you go straight to your phone every time” he said but I at least talk to you while doing so. I said definitely not you’re being hypocritical. Then he was like “yesterday there were a few dishes in the sink and I just don’t get why since it’s just so simple to rinse it right away and put it in the dishwasher. I feel like I’m doing the left over dishes often” I said to him nobody is asking you to (mind you it was a baby bowl and spoon and maybe a cereal bowl). I told him I was going to get to it. And I said sometimes it doesn’t get done right away because I am also taking care of the baby all day and doing this or that. And he’s like “what’s this or that? It’s not that hard or time consuming to do a few dishes right then and there” then he proceeded as I was feeding the baby to go down stairs and clean my pump parts, he threw in laundry, and vacuumed. Made me feel like he was trying to show off like see all that I can do “so fast” (meanwhile he has no patience in feeding the baby etc). Well I’m not really talking to him at the moment it’s been since this morning so 5 hours and I’m being stand off ish. I showered, cleaned the bathroom and shower and have been taking care of the baby. I did call him out cause this morning when I was showering he fed the baby his cereal so he was taking care of the baby as I was showering and he left the baby’s bowl and spoon in the sink. After an hour, as well as just now for lunch, he left his plate! So he is a hypocrite in my book!

Am I being the most or valid? Thanks

Meanwhile our guest bathroom toilet hasn’t been working for months and I mentioned it that he needs to fix it only twice and still nothing.

I feel like he doesn’t view what I do as a job and he has the real job that provides. He says that’s not true but that’s how I feel.