I met my partner in April this year. We met through my aunt who was his counselor when he was in rehab (he's a year and a half sober and doing amazing). My aunt convinced us to go out with her the night we met to get pizza and go to karaoke with her and one of the directors at the rehab. We went, had a good time and talked. I drove him to where he was staying and dropped him off. Went back to the place my aunt was and finished the night. The entire time he was texting me. We started hanging out a lot and started a relationship (clearly) shortly after we got together he lets me know he has a baby due in October but has to get a DNA test because we don't know if he's the father. No problem. i

In may we broke up for 4 days because we got into a huge argument and we're both wrong for the things done and said. During those 4 days I find out I'm pregnant. I call my best friend and go to her house immediately and take another test (positive) I lose it right then and she calms me down and talks to me about my options (I'm a single mom of 2) and we decide abortion would be best because I had just left my children's father who was abusive after 5 years and was struggling to stay on my feet as is. So I call him tell him I'm pregnant and he freaks out and begs me to know make any choices until he gets back to our city and we can talk and he'll support me through everything. At that point my mind was made up and I was having an abortion. A few days later went by and I decided to keep the baby so I called my Dr to get my birth control removed. While waiting to get my birth control removed I lost the baby.... So far I've delt with it pretty well until yesterday when she had the baby and I saw how happy he was and how proud he was of the baby even though we don't know if she's his or not (waiting in dna results). It hit me like a ton of bricks I won't get to experience this moment with him in 4 months like I was suppose to and my heart is shattered. I don't want to take the moment from him but I'm struggling to mentally deal with the loss now. Any advice?

**He's an amazing partner and great dad to my kids and my two year old worships the ground he walks on my 4 year old has his days (he has some developmental disabilities) so he picks and chooses when he wants love and comfort from us🤷🏻‍♀️ and my boyfriend will do anything to make sure myself and my kids have the things we need.** I'm not asking about relationship advice. Just suggestions to deal with my grief....