Sorry it's long help

How do you deal with a man you've been with saying your not what he wants, you deserve to be lonely, your never consistent, you never make any effort, you speak like a c.*.*.t, i work late because I don't want to come home to this or you. I don't want you. Your backwards , never do anything normal , you need to seak proffesional help and for them to sort you into how a normal person should be. Floating about how he's lost weight whilst I haven't after having a baby 3 months ago, pushing and prodding my stomach saying I will stop when it's gone, but says he's messing about, says the most hurtful things ever, it's ok for him to speak like trash but when it comes back I'm on the wrong and going to get what I deserve, goes on about our sex life,yet doesn't see that him saying, I'm fat, out of proportion and he's not attracted to.me.bpdy wise because of how I look, makes me not want to try as I feel so uncomfortable,ugly, fat and unattractive, yet when I raise that and tell him it's just an excuse and he wants to have a life and fun, he could go out and pick a randomer up and have sex. Has a pop at me because he's had a long day at work and I don't always look after him, I give him massages etc, tells me I don't care ,yet I mum on maternity leave had a baby 3 months ago, have a 9 year old, a 3 bed house which has 10 rooms that need caring for, kids to care for, food to cook, baby to feed, kids to put to bed, I do it all, he helps once in a blue moon, I sort everything, but what I do isn't hard work or a job, I shouldn't be tired or stressed or down. Yet my job is 24 hours everyday. I don't get look after. I have to carry on, I feed the baby whislt everyone gets to have a hot meal, whilst mine goes cold. I have had 4 hot meals since my baby was born. Being told I should ask him to take the baby or help, why should I have to ask the father of my kids to step up and help, I tell him I'm feeling lower and lower and lonier everyday. He doesn't come to bed,shows me little to no affection or love yet wants me to make all the effort. Then when something doesn't go his way, o deserve everything I feel. I deserve to be alone and unhappy. Mumma I'm failing and I'm useless. I'm worth nothing to him or anyone. I feel so so low that everything I am hot with o deserve. My kids keep me strong yet his abusive behaviour has me trapped and he knows how to control and manpulate me. Why am I so wrong. How has he ground me down so much and why can't I get up. Please help me girls in so so lost. 😣😭🥺