so, yesterday i had an abortion. though it wasn’t what i wanted, (simply bc i always knew i’d never have one.. so i thought). i went through with it. i went through with it for many many reasons. it isn’t fair to my daughter & her dad. the new babies dad. @ myself. only because my daughters dad would go out of his way to make my life hell, which would put him in prison. and then miss out on our daughters life. it would put new guy in jail for protecting me at all cost. and miss out on new babies life. it wasn’t fair to all parties involved. also, my situation right now is a complete struggle bus. i am a single mom working 90+ hours a week, two jobs. i don’t have a car anymore & i recently had to move out of my house because the owner sold it. i couldn’t stand the thought of bringing another baby into my fucked up world right now. the guy i was pregnant by was my dream guy. he is everything i’ve ever wanted and then some. he loves me, and my daughter as if she is his own. he takes me as i am and doesn’t try to change me. he helps me without me even asking him because he knows i am stubborn and refuse to ask for help. he would have been the perfect father. and i didn’t tell him i was pregnant, let alone had an abortion. because he would not have understood from my standpoint. this is something he wants with me, and right now it is not something i want. although, i’m almost positive he knows i was pregnant. he hinted at it a few times. but i never confirmed it. pregnancy truly hates my body. the entire 9 months of my first pregnancy i spent on bed rest because i was deemed high risk, and i knew this pregnancy would be an exact replica. also, i am only in my mid 20s and i have no parents (both have passed on) and feel very much alone. if it wasn’t for my daughter i am not sure what i would do or where i would be. but, i’ll leave that there. - with all of this being said, i 110% do not regret my decision. i would 110% do it over again if i had to. i guess what i’m looking for here is just an outlet, and some words of encouragement to keep pushing & fighting. i’ve just been feeling a tad bit emotional, but i know i made the right decision for myself & my 1 year old daughter.