When did you know it was time for a divorce?

We’ve been married for almost 2 years now, but ever since we had our son a year ago my husband has become a truly bitter person with an alcohol problem. I’ve been very lucky to be a stay at home mom the past year, but my husband thinks because I don’t bring in money that, that gets him out of any and all parenting duties. I’ve changed every diaper the past year, made every bottle, cleaned and folded all laundry. He has helped with cleaning a handful of times and cooking a few times a week because apparently I don’t do either to his standard ever because I’m burnt out and trying to watch our son while cooking or cleaning. I’ve told him I need help because I’m starting to resent him, and all he does is say “it’s not that hard, you have it easy you don’t even work” and I’ve told him that if we were paying someone to watch him it would be considered a job and he just comes up with excuses to why he has it harder than me when all I’m asking for is him to change a diaper or watch after our son for a little while. On top of that I just don’t feel happy with our relationship anymore. We always do what he wants to do on his days off because it’s his weekend. I can never listen to the kind of music I like around him without him making fun of it and saying it’s too weird and depressing. He criticizes the foods I eat, and criticizes me when I tell him I don’t like some of the foods that he loves. I feel like I’m not free to be myself anymore. I’ve asked for us to go to therapy together and he says no because apparently I am the problem and not him. If we didn’t have a kid I would have left him by now. I can’t imagine a world where I have to give my son up to him for a few days or a week at a time, especially to a man who refuses to change diapers or provide the most basic of care to his own child. I also don’t want to fight in court, my husband has shared custody of his 6 year old daughter from a. Previous relationship and recently he found out they are going to double his child support payments and he decided within seconds to throw those 6 years away and sign over his rights. That rubbed me completely the wrong way and proves my suspicions that he never wanted kids. I have no financial savings for my son and I, my parents live across the country from us, and I just feel lost. I still love my husband but I’m not in love anymore and he’s refusing to compromise on any of our issues and is forcing me to do things I’m not comfortable with doing. I almost feel like I just need someone to tell me it’s okay to ask him for a divorce