I always wanted a big family and have been blessed with three healthy babies (5, 3, and 2). My heart was pulling me for one more even though husband was done. It happened so here we are having our fourth and no matter what I try, I just have this overwhelming feeling that this was a terrible idea. :( how can we add more chaos to our lives? How can I give each child the individual love and attention? Why did I convince my husband for another only to end up feeling like this? And then I feel SO guilty even thinking negatively about it. Sigh…I’m just really struggling.