I have been in my current relationship for almost 5yrs. It has been hell mentally. I kinda feel as if its my karma for how i handled the previous relationship I was in before this one. Lately I find myself thinking about how the previous guy was everything I want currently. I was young but he was patient and caring. He loved me. Thought about me with everything he did. Anytime he went into a store, he would get me something. Wasn’t expensive things all the time but its just that he was thinking of me. We would stay inside binge watching shows. Spent so much time and put in so much effort with me. He supported me mentally and financially when i was going through nursing school and afterwards too. We dated almost 3yrs. Its my fault it ended. He loved me more than i loved him. I was young and wasn’t ready to make the major commitment. He was talking about marriage and i was young and was terrified of the idea. I left him for my now bf and i wasn’t honest with him as to why i wanted to end things. He was devastated and i was basically heartless and didn’t care. Is it bad for me to miss him and how he treated me? I know we can never be again but now I wish i knew what i know now☹️☹️☹️