Yesterday my best friend told me that she is pregnant with her second child. I am elated for her! But this announcement also brought up a lot of jealousy, and I feel so terrible for that. I’ve been officially trying for two years, as of this month, and have had two losses, and am starting to fear that I may never have kids. My husband has been clear that he does not want to go down the path of tests and procedures, and if we have another loss he wants to stop trying, so that’s been laying heavy on my mind. I know that comparison is a thief of joy, and you shouldn’t compare your life to others. But miscarriage has also stolen my joy. Fear has stolen my joy. This whole ttc process has caused more heartbreak than happiness. I’m feeling really down, and I feel like a shitty friend for this to all pop up immediately following her announcement. But geez this is so hard. My sister in law is also having a baby this week (scheduled c-section) so I think all of it combined has just made my feelings a little overwhelming.