I really don’t know what the point of this post is, maybe to vent? Looking to see if anyone else feels this way? Or maybe I am being totally unreasonable

I had normal acne from age 13-15, then around 15 it turned into cystic acne. My cystic acne was terrible, it was huge painful boils deep in my skin. My mom would tell me to put a warm compress on the cyst and it would go away. She told I would outgrow the acne eventually, probably when I turned 18. I took her advice, did the hot compress and waited. It would take weeks for a cyst to go away.

Once I turned 19, I still had the cystic acne so I went to the dermatologist and was prescribed accutane which is a really intense acne treatment. My acne cleared up great. However, every single cyst I had ( and there were a lot) left a scar on my face

So as you can imagine, after years of cystic acne and having these huge boils on my face, my face is wrecked. I tried resurfacing serums, chemical peels, microdermabrasions, microneedling, all helped very slightly, but the acne scarring I have is very extensive, it’s not just pigmented scars, I have icepick scars, boxcar scarring, every atrophic acne scar you can imagine. I had one fraxel treatment 3 weeks ago, and have 4-5 more to go, and they are $1,500 a session. I have literally spent thousands trying to fix my skin, and my skin will never be close to normal but i wish I could look at the mirror without getting upset.

I love my mom very much and we’re super close but I am angry at her she never took me to a doctor. My parents were not rich, but they had REALLY good health insurance from my dads union. I have kids of my own now, and they are still little, but I always say once I see any kind of acne, especially cystic acne, I am calling the dermatologist right away.

I would never tell my mom that I am angry at her. Like she doesn’t know I feel this way because it’s really irrelevant at this point, I mean I am almost 30 so this was a long time ago. I did one time ask her why she never took me, and she told me I never asked. I guess she has a point, I mean I was a teenager when it started so I absolutely could have asked or even gone on my own. So maybe I am being unreasonable lol