I’m so nervous about weight gain.

I’ve continuously asked my mom to stop commenting on my body and hair.

Back story: I used to be over 300 pounds in high school 10 years ago. She would comment on my weight all the time. I got down to 160 and still was not good enough for her to stop commenting. My hair used to be straight because I relaxed it often. She would always comment saying it’s ugly. I went natural and wore my curly pattern then she’d constantly say it was nappy. I now have locs and I love them. She still has so many things to say.

Her doing that to me caused my weight to never be good enough for me thinking I always need to be smaller. I recently cut her off because she does not take accountability for the things she does, lie and blame me for things that she does to me. She’s jealous because I am married, have a healthy relationship and doing well financially. She has admitted as much. We just started back communicating. I am already terrified of gaining weight and ballooning up again. So that made me sad when she FaceTimes me and I’m sitting at my desk working. Well I have on high waisted leggings so there was a small room at the top that could be seen on camera. Here she goes:

“You always talking about portion control, I see that you’re not. You have dog hanging from everywhere”. 😩 Well I couldn’t hold back tears. My 16 year old sister got on the phone and talked to me and got on my mom. Then she tried to say she didn’t mean anything but saying how the pregnancy looks on me. I AM NOT EVEN 7 WEEKS. Baby is not this far up. You meant what you said. Now take accountability.

I literally was on the phone before with my husband about gaining weight because y’all..I am legit terrified. Thanks for reading my rant.